Quote

Now airlines charge for everything... If the oxygen mask drops, you have to swipe your credit card to start the flow of the oxygen.

Ellen DeGeneres

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Ellen DeGeneres
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 26
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Presenter
Screenwriter
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Metairie
Louisiana
Ellen Lee DeGeneres
Everything
Oxygen
Card
Charge
Mask
Swipe
Cards
Airlines
Credit
Drops
Flow
Airline
Start
Hilarious

More quotes by Ellen DeGeneres

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Yeah I'm thirty-six, but on the show I'm thirty-two. Nobody wants to watch a thirty-six year old woman, so they decided to make me thirty-two. Much more appealing somehow.
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I do have ADD and in real life, I'm all over the place and can hardly focus. If we were talking for, for more than an hour or so, I'd start drifting off... I can't sit still too long.
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If we lose our phones, we lose our phone books. You don't memorize numbers anymore.
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You just have to keep driving down the road. It's going to bend and curve and you'll speed up and slow down, but the road keeps going.
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But I do believe that's when you do your soul-searching. I think when you have these trials that life gives you, it is an opportunity to find out who you are. Not just who you are when everything's great, but who are you when everything is taken away from you and you have nothing.
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It's a lot of work to put a brand-new monologue and a brand-new show on the air and find comedy every single day. It's challenging and it's the hardest thing I have ever done, but it's the best-suited thing for me. The more relaxed I get and the more confident I feel, the more I get to play and be myself...
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I'm sure men have their own ways of trying to demean one another, but women can be very gossipy and judgmental, and that doesn't help.
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I used to beat myself up about weight and working out, and no matter what I did I never felt good about myself. I decided to accept myself and know that I am good.
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I know there's always going to be feedback no matter what the subject. I am shocked by somebody commenting on my shoes or my clothes. Everyone has an opinion, everyone is logging about everything and has an opinion. So I can't possibly pay attention to that.
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I see those picketers, and I think you know, if I weren't a loving, non-violent, spiritual person, I would really go over there and grab those signs and smash them over their heads and shove them up their asses. But...I'm a loving, spiritual person.
Ellen DeGeneres
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Normally, I try not to pay attention to my haters, but this time I'd like to talk about it, because my haters are my motivators.
Ellen DeGeneres
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Who needs sleep? I laugh in the face of sleep!
Ellen DeGeneres
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So, I bought a new CD and I was trying to get it open but couldn't with all the layers... I mean plastic and then tape, and the tape is like government tape. It says 'open here.' Is that sarcasm?
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You know that song that asks, Why do fools fall in love?? I think the obvious answer is because they're fools.
Ellen DeGeneres
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I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day.
Ellen DeGeneres
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I was coming home from kindergarten - well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves.
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I don't need a baby growing inside me for nine months. If I'm going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old-fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before.
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Do we have to know who's gay and who's straight? Can't we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive?
Ellen DeGeneres
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I think furniture is art. I don't think art is just for your walls - I think everything that someone has made is a piece of art.
Ellen DeGeneres
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Though you feel you're not where you're suppose to be, you shouldn't worry because that next turn that you take, it will lead you to where you wanna go.
Ellen DeGeneres