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Now airlines charge for everything... If the oxygen mask drops, you have to swipe your credit card to start the flow of the oxygen.
Ellen DeGeneres
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Ellen DeGeneres
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 26
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Presenter
Screenwriter
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Metairie
Louisiana
Ellen Lee DeGeneres
Credit
Drops
Flow
Airline
Start
Hilarious
Everything
Oxygen
Card
Charge
Mask
Swipe
Cards
Airlines
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What did the letter O say to Q? Dude, your dikk is hanging out.
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I cannot imagine not going home to animals. They are the closest thing to God. They don't harbour resentment.
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I admire people who know they can't sing. There are so many people out there who can't sing, but they think they can, so they sing a lot.
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When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important.
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I think people need to laugh everyday. Whether the economy is good or bad, I think the most important thing is to laugh and to feel positive, if you are laughing at something positive. But if you are laughing at mean jokes then it's a wash.
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I'm probably the most honest person you'll ever meet - to a fault, like, I-will-hurt-your-feelings honest. I'm sure if I lied about anything, it would have been silly, but I haven't retained that information.
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When the message out there is so horrible that, to be gay, you can get killed for it... we need to change the message!!
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For someone like me, who loves to sweat and push herself, it's a challenge to slow down, to sit, to breathe and hold poses.
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I love clothes, so when I wear clothes, they're usually somebody's. You know, I'm not wearing Kmart.
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So, I bought a new CD and I was trying to get it open but couldn't with all the layers... I mean plastic and then tape, and the tape is like government tape. It says 'open here.' Is that sarcasm?
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I am saddened by how people treat one another and how we are so shut off from one another and how we judge one another, when the truth is, we are all one connected thing. We are all from the same exact molecules.
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Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.
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We focus so much on our differences, and that is creating, I think, a lot of chaos and negativity and bullying in the world. And I think if everybody focused on what we all have in common - which is - we all want to be happy.
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The stand up, everything was accidental. I never grew up and was the class clown and had to get the attention. It was - it really is, I have a career despite myself.
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My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
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You know, radio DJ's must really love to talk to theirselves. Especially when they have the graveyard shift. 'Hey this is Ellen with 89.1. It is currently three in the morning. There are few cars on the road. And it your still listening heres a little music to get you to dance.
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I'm sure men have their own ways of trying to demean one another, but women can be very gossipy and judgmental, and that doesn't help.
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I hate having to do small talk. I'd rather talk about deep subjects. I'd rather talk about meditation, or the world, or the trees or animals, than small, inane, you know, banter.
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If there weren't blacks, Jews and gays, there would no Oscars. Or anyone named Oscar, if you think about that.
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The way I see it... If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you're doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too.
Ellen DeGeneres
