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Now airlines charge for everything... If the oxygen mask drops, you have to swipe your credit card to start the flow of the oxygen.

Ellen DeGeneres

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Ellen DeGeneres
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 26
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Presenter
Screenwriter
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Metairie
Louisiana
Ellen Lee DeGeneres
Charge
Mask
Swipe
Cards
Airlines
Credit
Drops
Flow
Airline
Start
Hilarious
Everything
Oxygen
Card

More quotes by Ellen DeGeneres

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When I decided to have my character on the show come out, I knew I was going to have to come out, too. I never wanted to be the lesbian actress. I never wanted to be the spokesperson for the gay community. Ever. I did it for my own truth.
Ellen DeGeneres
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It would be horrible to live with someone who didn't like the same things you like.
Ellen DeGeneres
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No matter how popular you are as a stand-up - you can go out and fill a 10,000-seat arena and be smart and funny - it's delicate to host an awards show and know where your place is and know that it's not about you, that it's about the people who are nominated, and respect that, but at the same time have your moment to show them who you are.
Ellen DeGeneres
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I think there's a whole bunch of things that go along with being a girl. You're not supposed to have opinions or be tough or strong. You're supposed to be soft and vulnerable, and I find those qualities important in both men and women.
Ellen DeGeneres
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The stand up, everything was accidental. I never grew up and was the class clown and had to get the attention. It was - it really is, I have a career despite myself.
Ellen DeGeneres
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I'm not going to say who looks the most beautiful, but it's clear. It's Jared Leto. I mean, he's the prettiest. Boy is he pretty
Ellen DeGeneres
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The sixties were when hallucinogenic drugs were really, really big. And I don't think it's a coincidence that we had the type of shows we had then, like The Flying Nun.
Ellen DeGeneres
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I like being busy and juggling a lot of things at the same time. I get bored easily, so I need to do a lot.
Ellen DeGeneres
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I get those fleeting, beautiful moments of inner peace and stillness - and then the other 23 hours and 45 minutes of the day, I'm a human trying to make it through in this world.
Ellen DeGeneres
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I love clothes, so when I wear clothes, they're usually somebody's. You know, I'm not wearing Kmart.
Ellen DeGeneres
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When we were growing up our parents somehow made it clear that being famous was good. And I mistakenly thought that if I was famous then everyone would love me.
Ellen DeGeneres
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My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you're kidding?... Noooo... as funny as that is, I'm not
Ellen DeGeneres
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It's funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source.
Ellen DeGeneres
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We're told to go on living our lives as usual, because to do otherwise is to let the terrorists win, and really, what would upset the Taliban more than a gay woman wearing a suit in front of a room full of Jews?
Ellen DeGeneres
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The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big trouble.
Ellen DeGeneres
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It always helps to think about other people instead of ourselves.
Ellen DeGeneres
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The problem with labels is that they lead to stereotypes and stereotypes lead to generalizations and generalizations lead to assumptions and assumptions lead back to stereotypes. It’s a vicious cycle, and after you go around and around a bunch of times you end up believing that all vegans only eat cabbage and all gay people love musicals.
Ellen DeGeneres
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Emote. It's okay. It shows you are thinking and feeling.
Ellen DeGeneres
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I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. Its been about two months since I've worked out. And I just don't have the time. Which uh..is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch TV. And get a bone density test. And uh.. try to figure out what my phone number spells in words.
Ellen DeGeneres
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I cannot imagine not going home to animals. They are the closest thing to God. They don't harbour resentment.
Ellen DeGeneres