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The only way a no-legged leopard could hurt you is if it fell out of a tree onto your head.
Ellen DeGeneres
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Ellen DeGeneres
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 26
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Presenter
Screenwriter
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Metairie
Louisiana
Ellen Lee DeGeneres
Fell
Tree
Head
Hurt
Way
Leopard
Leopards
Legged
Onto
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No one is perfect, except for Penélope Cruz.
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I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping?
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I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.
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When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important.
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But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let's get our priorities straight. I think we all know what's really important in life - winning an Oscar.
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It's funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source.
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What goes up must come down, which is why I don't wear tube tops.
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I talked to Beyonce and she wants to learn how to speak Arabic and she wants to jump out of an airplane. I don't want to do that. I just don't want to wash my hair every day.
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It's nice when people love you....for you.
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I know that experts say you're more likely to get hurt crossing the street than you are flying, but that doesn't make me any less frightened of flying. If anything, it makes me more afraid of crossing the street.
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Baloney is just salami with an inferiority complex.
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I get those fleeting, beautiful moments of inner peace and stillness - and then the other 23 hours and 45 minutes of the day, I'm a human trying to make it through in this world.
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You're gonna be ok, dum de dum dum dum, just dance.
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No matter how popular you are as a stand-up - you can go out and fill a 10,000-seat arena and be smart and funny - it's delicate to host an awards show and know where your place is and know that it's not about you, that it's about the people who are nominated, and respect that, but at the same time have your moment to show them who you are.
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The good psychic would pick up the phone before it rang. Of course it is possible there was noone on the other line. Once she said God Bless you I said, I didn't sneeze She looked deep into my eyes and said, You will, eventually. And damn it if she wasn't right. Two days later I sneezed.
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Being a teenager and figuring out who you are is hard enough without someone attacking you.
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I'm not going to say who looks the most beautiful, but it's clear. It's Jared Leto. I mean, he's the prettiest. Boy is he pretty
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Right before I decided to come out, I went on a spiritual retreat called 'Changing the Inner Dialogue of Your Subconscious Mind.' I'd never been to anything like it before, and all my friends were taking bets on how long I'd last with no TV, no radio, no phone. But for me that was the beginning of paying attention to all the little things.
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Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I've been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I'm happy I could give him work.
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I always like using different muscles, you can take that however you want. But doing something once a year is fantastic, I highly recommended it if you can do it. It's a wonderful thing, it's very freeing and I can put a lot of energy and attention onto it and it's something I love doing.
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