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Take a nap in a fireplace and you'll sleep like a log.

Ellen DeGeneres

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Ellen DeGeneres
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 26
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Presenter
Screenwriter
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Metairie
Louisiana
Ellen Lee DeGeneres
Fireplace
Fireplaces
Naps
Humor
Sleep
Funny
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More quotes by Ellen DeGeneres

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We all feel like idiots at one time or another. Even if we feel we're cool 98 percent of the time, that 2-percent doofus is poised to take over our bodies without any warning.
Ellen DeGeneres
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Now airlines charge for everything... If the oxygen mask drops, you have to swipe your credit card to start the flow of the oxygen.
Ellen DeGeneres
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And now I've got to explain the smell that was in there before I went in there. Does that ever happen to you? It's not your fault. You've held your breath, you just wanna get out, and now you open the door and you have to explain, 'Oh! Listen, there's an odor in there and I didn't do it. It's bad.
Ellen DeGeneres
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I don't know what people are scared of...maybe they think their children will be influenced by gay marriage, but I've got to tell you, I was raised by two heterosexuals. Everywhere I looked - heterosexuals. And they did not influence me. It's time we love people for who they are and let them love who they want.
Ellen DeGeneres
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You know, it's hard work to write a book. I can't tell you how many times I really get going on an idea, then my quill breaks. Or I spill ink all over my writing tunic.
Ellen DeGeneres
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I hope I make people feel better. I hope I take people out of their situations a little bit and make them happier. That's really why I do what I do.
Ellen DeGeneres
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Please raise your children with love and non-judgement. Tell them everyone has the right to love who they want to love. It shouldn’t threaten you or who you are.
Ellen DeGeneres
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It always helps to think about other people instead of ourselves.
Ellen DeGeneres
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Answers to Frequently Asked Questions: Yes. Yes. No. One time in high school. Three times in my twenties. Rocks no salt. Yes. Four. Never. And how dare you! I will take no further questions.
Ellen DeGeneres
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I do it because I love animals and I saw the reality. And I just couldn't ignore it anymore. I'm healthier for it, I'm happier for it. I can't imagine that if you're putting something in your body that is filled with fear or anxiety or pain, that that isn't somehow going to be inside of you.
Ellen DeGeneres
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Baloney is just salami with an inferiority complex.
Ellen DeGeneres
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You just have to keep driving down the road. It's going to bend and curve and you'll speed up and slow down, but the road keeps going.
Ellen DeGeneres
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Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I've been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I'm happy I could give him work.
Ellen DeGeneres
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We went to lunch and were talking about procrastination and the waitress overheard us and she said, 'I have a problem with procrastination, too.' I said 'Really?... Get my sandwich.'
Ellen DeGeneres
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I don't want to get the same looks I give people when they get on a plane holding a baby: That's a cute baby, just keep walking, keep walking, keep going, keep going.
Ellen DeGeneres
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When we were growing up our parents somehow made it clear that being famous was good. And I mistakenly thought that if I was famous then everyone would love me.
Ellen DeGeneres
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I get to do stand-up every single day. I love that live energy exchange between the audience and myself, and to get to say the things I want to say and comment on.
Ellen DeGeneres
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I know that experts say you're more likely to get hurt crossing the street than you are flying, but that doesn't make me any less frightened of flying. If anything, it makes me more afraid of crossing the street.
Ellen DeGeneres
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I'm probably the most honest person you'll ever meet - to a fault, like, I-will-hurt-your-feelings honest. I'm sure if I lied about anything, it would have been silly, but I haven't retained that information.
Ellen DeGeneres
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The good psychic would pick up the phone before it rang. Of course it is possible there was noone on the other line. Once she said God Bless you I said, I didn't sneeze She looked deep into my eyes and said, You will, eventually. And damn it if she wasn't right. Two days later I sneezed.
Ellen DeGeneres