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I don't need a baby growing inside me for nine months. If I'm going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old-fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before.
Ellen DeGeneres
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Ellen DeGeneres
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 26
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
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Screenwriter
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Metairie
Louisiana
Ellen Lee DeGeneres
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More quotes by Ellen DeGeneres
I don't want to take a pill. Go to Africa, go follow some bushman around. He's being chased by a lion. That's stress. You're not going to find a pygmy on Paxil, I'll tell you that right now.
Ellen DeGeneres
We focus so much on our differences, and that is creating, I think, a lot of chaos and negativity and bullying in the world. And I think if everybody focused on what we all have in common - which is - we all want to be happy.
Ellen DeGeneres
You know that song that asks, Why do fools fall in love?? I think the obvious answer is because they're fools.
Ellen DeGeneres
You know, it's hard work to write a book. I can't tell you how many times I really get going on an idea, then my quill breaks. Or I spill ink all over my writing tunic.
Ellen DeGeneres
The song 'If I Had a Hammer' is geared toward people who don't have a hammer. Maybe before I had a hammer I thought I'd hammer in the morning and hammer in the evening. But once you get a hammer, you find you don't really hammer as much as you thought you would.
Ellen DeGeneres
The problem with labels is that they lead to stereotypes and stereotypes lead to generalizations and generalizations lead to assumptions and assumptions lead back to stereotypes. It’s a vicious cycle, and after you go around and around a bunch of times you end up believing that all vegans only eat cabbage and all gay people love musicals.
Ellen DeGeneres
I'm not going to say who looks the most beautiful, but it's clear. It's Jared Leto. I mean, he's the prettiest. Boy is he pretty
Ellen DeGeneres
You have to have funny faces and words, you can't just have words. It is a powerful thing, and I think that's why it's hard for people to imagine that women can do that, be that powerful.
Ellen DeGeneres
Beauty is not between a size 0 and a size 8. It's not a number at all.
Ellen DeGeneres
People are constantly asking Portia and me if we are going to have children. We thought about it. We love to be around children after they've been fed and bathed. But we ultimately decided that we don't want children of our own. There is far too much glass in our house.
Ellen DeGeneres
Start thinking positively. You will notice a difference. Instead of 'I think I'm a loser,' try 'I definitely am a loser.' Stop being wishy-washy about things! How much more of a loser can you be if you don't even know you are one? Either you are a loser or you are not. Which is it, stupid?
Ellen DeGeneres
I think I let go of the need for approval. It certainly feels good when you get it, but I used to be more desperate for it. Once I felt better inside about myself... I could do everything based on how I want to do things.
Ellen DeGeneres
When the message out there is so horrible that, to be gay, you can get killed for it... we need to change the message!!
Ellen DeGeneres
I still have the shirt I wore my first time on Johnny Carson's show. Only now I use it as a tablecloth at dinner parties. It was very blousy.
Ellen DeGeneres
No one is perfect, except for Penélope Cruz.
Ellen DeGeneres
Emote. It's okay. It shows you are thinking and feeling.
Ellen DeGeneres
Never follow anyone else’s path, unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path and by all means you should follow that. Don’t give advice, it will come back and bite you in the ass. Don’t take anyone’s advice. So my advice to you is to be true to yourself and everything will be fine.
Ellen DeGeneres
We have two dogs, Mabel and Wolf, and three cats at home, Charlie, George and Chairman. We have two cats on our farm, Tom and Little Sister, two horses, and two mini horses, Hannah and Tricky. We also have two cows, Holy and Madonna. And those are only the animals we let sleep in our bed.
Ellen DeGeneres
I get to do stand-up every single day. I love that live energy exchange between the audience and myself, and to get to say the things I want to say and comment on.
Ellen DeGeneres
It makes a big difference in your life when you stay positive.
Ellen DeGeneres
