Quote

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

Ellen DeGeneres

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Ellen DeGeneres
Age: 66
Born: 1958
Born: January 26
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Presenter
Screenwriter
Talk Show Host
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Metairie
Louisiana
Ellen Lee DeGeneres
Health
Ninety
Grandpa
Humor
Sixty
Strolling
Walks
Grandmother
Grandma
Started
Birthday
Grandparent
Hell
Miles
Hilarious
Five
Seven
Sarcasm
Funny
Exercise
Hiking
Life
Walking
Grandchildren
Ramp

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I don't need a baby growing inside me for nine months. If I'm going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old-fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before.
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I admire people who know they can't sing. There are so many people out there who can't sing, but they think they can, so they sing a lot.
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The only way a no-legged leopard could hurt you is if it fell out of a tree onto your head.
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Don't you hate when people are late to work. And they always have the worst excuses. Oh, I'm sorry I'm late, traffic. Traffic, huh? How do you think I got here helicoptered in!?
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I like being busy and juggling a lot of things at the same time. I get bored easily, so I need to do a lot.
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When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important. It's hard to understand failure when you're going through it, but in the grand scheme of things it's good to fall down - not because you're drunk and not near stairs.
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When I decided to have my character on the show come out, I knew I was going to have to come out, too. I never wanted to be the lesbian actress. I never wanted to be the spokesperson for the gay community. Ever. I did it for my own truth.
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Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I've been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I'm happy I could give him work.
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If you want to get rid of stuff, you can always do a good spring-cleaning. Or you can do what I do. Move.
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No one is perfect, except for Penélope Cruz.
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You know me. Any excuse to put on a dress.
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Though you feel you're not where you're suppose to be, you shouldn't worry because that next turn that you take, it will lead you to where you wanna go.
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We focus so much on our differences, and that is creating, I think, a lot of chaos and negativity and bullying in the world. And I think if everybody focused on what we all have in common - which is - we all want to be happy.
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The stand up, everything was accidental. I never grew up and was the class clown and had to get the attention. It was - it really is, I have a career despite myself.
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The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big trouble.
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I talked to Beyonce and she wants to learn how to speak Arabic and she wants to jump out of an airplane. I don't want to do that. I just don't want to wash my hair every day.
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We have two dogs, Mabel and Wolf, and three cats at home, Charlie, George and Chairman. We have two cats on our farm, Tom and Little Sister, two horses, and two mini horses, Hannah and Tricky. We also have two cows, Holy and Madonna. And those are only the animals we let sleep in our bed.
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Normally, I try not to pay attention to my haters, but this time I'd like to talk about it, because my haters are my motivators.
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I had done a sitcom and a movie and hosted the Emmys, and all of a sudden, I lost everything. As someone put it at the time, I was suddenly like a Ferrari in neutral.
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What did the letter O say to Q? Dude, your dikk is hanging out.
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