There are writers who can show you the excellence of their brains and writers who show you the depths of their souls: I don't know any writer who does both at the same time as brilliantly as Roxane Gay.

My father was right: you could make anybody amazing just by insisting they were.

In reference works, as in sin, omission is as bad as willful misbehavior.

Grief lasts longer than sympathy, which is one of the tragedies of the grieving.

I believe marriage is a spectator sport.

Unrequited love–plain desperate aboveboard boy-chasing–turned you into a salesperson, and what you were selling was something he didn't want, couldn't use, would never miss. Unrequited love was deciding to be useless, and I could never abide uselessness.

Fire is a speed reader, which is why the ignorant burn books: fire races through pages, takes care of all the knowledge, and never bores you with a summary.

The cure for unhappiness is happiness, I don't care what anyone says.

As for me, I believe that if there's a God - and I am as neutral on the subject as is possible - then the most basic proof of His existence is black humor. What else explains it, that odd, reliable comfort that billows up at the worst moments, like a beautiful sunset woven out of the smoke over a bombed city.

I come from food the way some people come from money. Food was the medium I grew up in, what we talked about, what shaped our days.

Engagements - they are like a prayer before eating, best quick.

but you can't spend your whole life hoping people will ask you the right questions. you must learn to love and answer the questions they already ask.

It's a happy life, but someone is missing. It's a happy life, and someone is missing.