I have been through the stages of disbelief and shock, to anger and ultimately grief over the loss of the family I so badly wanted for my children.

I also feel stronger than I ever have. I have confidence in my beliefs, my decisions and myself.

In the beginning, you tamp down the animosity for the kids' sake. I'm not going to deny that I went through the wringer. But I don't think I doubted we'd end up here. That was always my dream, that the kids can have two loving parents that show respect for each other. And I feel that's what they have.

My main focus is to try to give myself time to heal...Forgiveness takes time. It is the last step of the grieving process.

I've been through hell. It's hard to think you have this life, and then all of a sudden - was it a lie? You're struggling because it wasn't real. But I survived. It was hard, but it didn't kill me.