I have been through the stages of disbelief and shock, to anger and ultimately grief over the loss of the family I so badly wanted for my children.

I also feel stronger than I ever have. I have confidence in my beliefs, my decisions and myself.

In the beginning, you tamp down the animosity for the kids' sake. I'm not going to deny that I went through the wringer. But I don't think I doubted we'd end up here. That was always my dream, that the kids can have two loving parents that show respect for each other. And I feel that's what they have.

I've been through hell. It's hard to think you have this life, and then all of a sudden - was it a lie? You're struggling because it wasn't real. But I survived. It was hard, but it didn't kill me.

My main focus is to try to give myself time to heal...Forgiveness takes time. It is the last step of the grieving process.