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Most people love animals, and most people love to laugh. Combining the two makes both resonate deeper.
Elayne Boosler
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Elayne Boosler
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Brooklyn
New York
Animal
Makes
Resonate
Two
Combining
Love
Deeper
People
Animals
Laugh
Laughing
More quotes by Elayne Boosler
I love my parents and they're wonderful people, but they were strict, and I still look for ways to get even. When I got my own apartment for the very first time and they came to stay with me for the weekend, I made them stay in separate bedrooms.
Elayne Boosler
You know you are in love when you are willing to share your cash-machine number.
Elayne Boosler
I read books that say if you want to keep sex hot you tell a person what you want. How do you tell 'em you want somebody else?
Elayne Boosler
I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food.
Elayne Boosler
To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy.
Elayne Boosler
I think about death. I don't want to die with clothes in the cleaners.
Elayne Boosler
People want sex education out of the schools. They believe sex education causes promiscuity. Hey, I took algebra, but I never do math.
Elayne Boosler
While editors and newspaper owners currently fret over shrinking readership and lost profits, they do the one thing that insures cutting their own throats they keep reducing space for the one feature that attracts new young readers in the first place the comic strips.
Elayne Boosler
My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.
Elayne Boosler
Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower.
Elayne Boosler
My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.
Elayne Boosler
You know, if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport.
Elayne Boosler
I run everywhere and eavesdrop. It's the best way to see a city.
Elayne Boosler
Guys wake up at your place and they expect breakfast. They don't eat bagels and M&M's in the morning. They want things like toast. I say, 'I don't have these recipes.'
Elayne Boosler
The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.
Elayne Boosler
My belief is that guns are too easy to get in America. My belief is that the NRA has bought much of our congress, to the point that guns are actually the only unregulated consumer product in America. Think about that. It's stunning.
Elayne Boosler
Designers don't put out the same sweater every year. They just keep creating.
Elayne Boosler
What do hookers do on their nights off, type?
Elayne Boosler
I can tell by your eye shadow, you're from Brooklyn, right? . . . Me too. My mother has plastic covers on all the furniture. Even the poodle. Looked like a barking hassock walking down the street.
Elayne Boosler
For a single woman, preparing for company means wiping the lipstick off the milk carton.
Elayne Boosler