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I can tell by your eye shadow, you're from Brooklyn, right? . . . Me too. My mother has plastic covers on all the furniture. Even the poodle. Looked like a barking hassock walking down the street.
Elayne Boosler
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Elayne Boosler
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Brooklyn
New York
Tell
Furniture
Mother
Plastic
Women
Street
Home
Shadow
Poodle
Right
Looked
Barking
Even
Walking
Poodles
Like
Streets
Brooklyn
Eye
Covers
More quotes by Elayne Boosler
I have no complaints about losing money I put in high-risk investments. I did some of that when I had real money my informed choice, my measured gamble.
Elayne Boosler
Here is what is needed for Occupy Wall Street to become a force for change: a clear, and clearly expressed, objective. Or two.
Elayne Boosler
I love my parents and they're wonderful people, but they were strict, and I still look for ways to get even. When I got my own apartment for the very first time and they came to stay with me for the weekend, I made them stay in separate bedrooms.
Elayne Boosler
Every time we help an animal, we are healing ourselves, over and over.
Elayne Boosler
Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower.
Elayne Boosler
I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people, no matter how hard it is, will eventually be recognized. I am doubly thankful that also goes for idiots.
Elayne Boosler
I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.
Elayne Boosler
Why isn't the movie industry forced to open its shooting locations to an organization that is there to advocate for animal actors? The industry isn't allowed to pick and choose which movies using young children it will or won't allow to be monitored. The vulnerable should be protected.
Elayne Boosler
You know, if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport.
Elayne Boosler
A study last year showed that the page you turn to first in the newspaper can be a predictor of how long you will live. No surprise, turning first to the Comics Pages prolongs your life.
Elayne Boosler
I read books that say if you want to keep sex hot you tell a person what you want. How do you tell 'em you want somebody else?
Elayne Boosler
We've seen the uproars around the world concerning cartoons depicting the prophet Mohammad. Anyone who does not think comic strips are relevant never had a fatwa put on him/her for drawing a picture.
Elayne Boosler
I'm pretty equal opportunity when it comes to issues to joke about.
Elayne Boosler
You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.
Elayne Boosler
Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?
Elayne Boosler
What do hookers do on their nights off, type?
Elayne Boosler
Comedy is a blood sport. It flays the truth and spurts twisted logic. In America, people become comics because we don't have bullfighting.
Elayne Boosler
There are many comedians who are afraid to work outside the coasts and the casinos because they're afraid they'll bomb.
Elayne Boosler
I run everywhere and eavesdrop. It's the best way to see a city.
Elayne Boosler
For a single woman, preparing for company means wiping the lipstick off the milk carton.
Elayne Boosler