Quote

People want sex education out of the schools. They believe sex education causes promiscuity. Hey, I took algebra, but I never do math.

Elayne Boosler

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Elayne Boosler
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Brooklyn
New York
School
Algebra
Believe
Hey
Never
Math
People
Schools
Sex
Took
Education
Causes
Promiscuity

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You know you are in love when you are willing to share your cash-machine number.
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When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping.
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Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?
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I’ve thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent.
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San Francisco is really fun and liberal, and it's my kind of politics. It's like being Jewish in front of Jewish people.
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A study last year showed that the page you turn to first in the newspaper can be a predictor of how long you will live. No surprise, turning first to the Comics Pages prolongs your life.
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We've seen the uproars around the world concerning cartoons depicting the prophet Mohammad. Anyone who does not think comic strips are relevant never had a fatwa put on him/her for drawing a picture.
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Guys wake up at your place and they expect breakfast. They don't eat bagels and M&M's in the morning. They want things like toast. I say, 'I don't have these recipes.'
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Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower.
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When the sun comes up, I have morals again.
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I run everywhere and eavesdrop. It's the best way to see a city.
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I have no complaints about losing money I put in high-risk investments. I did some of that when I had real money my informed choice, my measured gamble.
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I never minded flying cheap. I always said to myself, 'Taking this flight saves enough money to rescue four dogs, or six cats, or will let me make a difference to the one woman saving chimps in Cameroon.'
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My mother always said you could eat off her floor you could eat of my floor too, there's so much food down there.
Elayne Boosler
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I can tell by your eye shadow, you're from Brooklyn, right? . . . Me too. My mother has plastic covers on all the furniture. Even the poodle. Looked like a barking hassock walking down the street.
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Designers don't put out the same sweater every year. They just keep creating.
Elayne Boosler
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For me, comedy is a day-to-day report on the human condition. It's what's happening right now. I get maybe 20 minutes of my act straight from the newspaper.
Elayne Boosler
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I didn't get a high school diploma. I really didn't have much of an education, which left me open to educating myself throughout my life, without the limitations on intellectual curiosity a formal education can impose. I followed what interested me.
Elayne Boosler
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I'm pretty equal opportunity when it comes to issues to joke about.
Elayne Boosler
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My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.
Elayne Boosler