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What do hookers do on their nights off, type?
Elayne Boosler
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Elayne Boosler
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Brooklyn
New York
Nights
Type
Night
Hookers
More quotes by Elayne Boosler
Here is what is needed for Occupy Wall Street to become a force for change: a clear, and clearly expressed, objective. Or two.
Elayne Boosler
There are many comedians who are afraid to work outside the coasts and the casinos because they're afraid they'll bomb.
Elayne Boosler
For a single woman, preparing for company means wiping the lipstick off the milk carton.
Elayne Boosler
Comedy is a blood sport. It flays the truth and spurts twisted logic. In America, people become comics because we don't have bullfighting.
Elayne Boosler
Citizens are all equal in politics: we each have one vote.
Elayne Boosler
I read books that say if you want to keep sex hot you tell a person what you want. How do you tell 'em you want somebody else?
Elayne Boosler
My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.
Elayne Boosler
You know, if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport.
Elayne Boosler
I deliver very traditionally, and people aren't threatened. I think if I cursed or seemed wilder, I couldn't get away with the amount of very opinionated politics I get away with.
Elayne Boosler
I'm pretty equal opportunity when it comes to issues to joke about.
Elayne Boosler
I pray if I ever find out I have only about three minutes to live it's during a basketball game, because then I'll have, what, 10, 12 years to live?
Elayne Boosler
People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's under water. But it's certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool.
Elayne Boosler
I’ve thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent.
Elayne Boosler
The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.
Elayne Boosler
People want sex education out of the schools. They believe sex education causes promiscuity. Hey, I took algebra, but I never do math.
Elayne Boosler
My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.
Elayne Boosler
I have always put my own money into Tails of Joy. For years, every time a dog walked by, my husband would say, 'There goes our beach house.'
Elayne Boosler
Horse racing is waning in popularity.
Elayne Boosler
I can't get married. I can't fake sleep for 30 years.
Elayne Boosler
To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy.
Elayne Boosler