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My mother always said you could eat off her floor you could eat of my floor too, there's so much food down there.

Elayne Boosler

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Elayne Boosler
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Brooklyn
New York
Always
Floor
Food
Mother
Much

More quotes by Elayne Boosler

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For a single woman, preparing for company means wiping the lipstick off the milk carton.
Elayne Boosler
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My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.
Elayne Boosler
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My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.
Elayne Boosler
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I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food.
Elayne Boosler
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Comedy is a blood sport. It flays the truth and spurts twisted logic. In America, people become comics because we don't have bullfighting.
Elayne Boosler
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You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.
Elayne Boosler
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Wouldn’t it be great to see a line in all movie credits that truthfully says, “Nobody was harmed in the making of this film, and at the cast party, all animals got a belly belly belly rub”.
Elayne Boosler
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I read books that say if you want to keep sex hot you tell a person what you want. How do you tell 'em you want somebody else?
Elayne Boosler
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I love my parents and they're wonderful people, but they were strict, and I still look for ways to get even. When I got my own apartment for the very first time and they came to stay with me for the weekend, I made them stay in separate bedrooms.
Elayne Boosler
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I'm pretty equal opportunity when it comes to issues to joke about.
Elayne Boosler
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I think about death. I don't want to die with clothes in the cleaners.
Elayne Boosler
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Every time we help an animal, we are healing ourselves, over and over.
Elayne Boosler
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The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.
Elayne Boosler
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Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?
Elayne Boosler
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I run everywhere and eavesdrop. It's the best way to see a city.
Elayne Boosler
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Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower.
Elayne Boosler
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Citizens are all equal in politics: we each have one vote.
Elayne Boosler
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People want sex education out of the schools. They believe sex education causes promiscuity. Hey, I took algebra, but I never do math.
Elayne Boosler
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I personally cannot tell you how many times we rescuers put our names on animals to come to us as soon as they are eligible for release, only to find they have been senselessly killed by overzealous pound workers.
Elayne Boosler
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Why isn't the movie industry forced to open its shooting locations to an organization that is there to advocate for animal actors? The industry isn't allowed to pick and choose which movies using young children it will or won't allow to be monitored. The vulnerable should be protected.
Elayne Boosler