Quote

Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower.

Elayne Boosler

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Elayne Boosler
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Brooklyn
New York
Live
Dry
Fifteen
Date
Easier
Minutes
Hair
Blower
Alone
Laundry
Inspirational
Ems

More quotes by Elayne Boosler

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To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy.
Elayne Boosler
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I wasn't funny as a kid. I remember enjoying comedians, but I never understood it was a job choice or a profession.
Elayne Boosler
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For me, comedy is a day-to-day report on the human condition. It's what's happening right now. I get maybe 20 minutes of my act straight from the newspaper.
Elayne Boosler
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People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's under water. But it's certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool.
Elayne Boosler
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There are many comedians who are afraid to work outside the coasts and the casinos because they're afraid they'll bomb.
Elayne Boosler
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My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.
Elayne Boosler
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Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?
Elayne Boosler
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San Francisco is really fun and liberal, and it's my kind of politics. It's like being Jewish in front of Jewish people.
Elayne Boosler
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Most people love animals, and most people love to laugh. Combining the two makes both resonate deeper.
Elayne Boosler
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When the sun comes up, I have morals again.
Elayne Boosler
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My belief is that guns are too easy to get in America. My belief is that the NRA has bought much of our congress, to the point that guns are actually the only unregulated consumer product in America. Think about that. It's stunning.
Elayne Boosler
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You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.
Elayne Boosler
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I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.
Elayne Boosler
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I never minded flying cheap. I always said to myself, 'Taking this flight saves enough money to rescue four dogs, or six cats, or will let me make a difference to the one woman saving chimps in Cameroon.'
Elayne Boosler
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I always had a running commentary in my head that was extremely funny and off-center, but I never said it to anyone.
Elayne Boosler
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Why isn't the movie industry forced to open its shooting locations to an organization that is there to advocate for animal actors? The industry isn't allowed to pick and choose which movies using young children it will or won't allow to be monitored. The vulnerable should be protected.
Elayne Boosler
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What do hookers do on their nights off, type?
Elayne Boosler
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I deliver very traditionally, and people aren't threatened. I think if I cursed or seemed wilder, I couldn't get away with the amount of very opinionated politics I get away with.
Elayne Boosler
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Comedy is a blood sport. It flays the truth and spurts twisted logic. In America, people become comics because we don't have bullfighting.
Elayne Boosler
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I can't get married. I can't fake sleep for 30 years.
Elayne Boosler