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Wouldn’t it be great to see a line in all movie credits that truthfully says, “Nobody was harmed in the making of this film, and at the cast party, all animals got a belly belly belly rub”.

Elayne Boosler

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Elayne Boosler
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Brooklyn
New York
Great
Nobody
Truthfully
Says
Belly
Lines
Cast
Animal
Casts
Movie
Credit
Party
Animals
Making
Line
Credits
Film
Wouldn
Harmed

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You know you are in love when you are willing to share your cash-machine number.
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People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's under water. But it's certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool.
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I can't get married. I can't fake sleep for 30 years.
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I always had a running commentary in my head that was extremely funny and off-center, but I never said it to anyone.
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I read books that say if you want to keep sex hot you tell a person what you want. How do you tell 'em you want somebody else?
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Every time we help an animal, we are healing ourselves, over and over.
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My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.
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The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.
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Here is what is needed for Occupy Wall Street to become a force for change: a clear, and clearly expressed, objective. Or two.
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There are many comedians who are afraid to work outside the coasts and the casinos because they're afraid they'll bomb.
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Men put all kinds of expectations on you. They want you to scream 'You're the best' while swearing you've never done this with anyone before.
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I run everywhere and eavesdrop. It's the best way to see a city.
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I deliver very traditionally, and people aren't threatened. I think if I cursed or seemed wilder, I couldn't get away with the amount of very opinionated politics I get away with.
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I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people, no matter how hard it is, will eventually be recognized. I am doubly thankful that also goes for idiots.
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Comedy is a blood sport. It flays the truth and spurts twisted logic. In America, people become comics because we don't have bullfighting.
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I’ve thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent.
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I have no complaints about losing money I put in high-risk investments. I did some of that when I had real money my informed choice, my measured gamble.
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