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Wouldn’t it be great to see a line in all movie credits that truthfully says, “Nobody was harmed in the making of this film, and at the cast party, all animals got a belly belly belly rub”.

Elayne Boosler

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Elayne Boosler
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Brooklyn
New York
Making
Line
Credits
Film
Wouldn
Harmed
Great
Nobody
Truthfully
Says
Belly
Lines
Cast
Animal
Casts
Movie
Credit
Party
Animals

More quotes by Elayne Boosler

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I always had a running commentary in my head that was extremely funny and off-center, but I never said it to anyone.
Elayne Boosler
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I love my parents and they're wonderful people, but they were strict, and I still look for ways to get even. When I got my own apartment for the very first time and they came to stay with me for the weekend, I made them stay in separate bedrooms.
Elayne Boosler
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San Francisco is really fun and liberal, and it's my kind of politics. It's like being Jewish in front of Jewish people.
Elayne Boosler
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Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?
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I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.
Elayne Boosler
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I run everywhere and eavesdrop. It's the best way to see a city.
Elayne Boosler
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My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.
Elayne Boosler
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When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping.
Elayne Boosler
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Every time we help an animal, we are healing ourselves, over and over.
Elayne Boosler
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I have always put my own money into Tails of Joy. For years, every time a dog walked by, my husband would say, 'There goes our beach house.'
Elayne Boosler
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We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, 'You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.'
Elayne Boosler
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For me, comedy is a day-to-day report on the human condition. It's what's happening right now. I get maybe 20 minutes of my act straight from the newspaper.
Elayne Boosler
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I’ve thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent.
Elayne Boosler
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Men put all kinds of expectations on you. They want you to scream 'You're the best' while swearing you've never done this with anyone before.
Elayne Boosler
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While editors and newspaper owners currently fret over shrinking readership and lost profits, they do the one thing that insures cutting their own throats they keep reducing space for the one feature that attracts new young readers in the first place the comic strips.
Elayne Boosler
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I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food.
Elayne Boosler
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You know, if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport.
Elayne Boosler
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We've seen the uproars around the world concerning cartoons depicting the prophet Mohammad. Anyone who does not think comic strips are relevant never had a fatwa put on him/her for drawing a picture.
Elayne Boosler
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My mother always said you could eat off her floor you could eat of my floor too, there's so much food down there.
Elayne Boosler
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I have no complaints about losing money I put in high-risk investments. I did some of that when I had real money my informed choice, my measured gamble.
Elayne Boosler