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My belief is that guns are too easy to get in America. My belief is that the NRA has bought much of our congress, to the point that guns are actually the only unregulated consumer product in America. Think about that. It's stunning.

Elayne Boosler

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Elayne Boosler
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Brooklyn
New York
Actually
Bought
Easy
Consumers
America
Gun
Much
Product
Unregulated
Think
Congress
Nra
Thinking
Products
Stunning
Belief
Consumer
Point
Guns

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You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.
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Wouldn’t it be great to see a line in all movie credits that truthfully says, “Nobody was harmed in the making of this film, and at the cast party, all animals got a belly belly belly rub”.
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Every time we help an animal, we are healing ourselves, over and over.
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What do hookers do on their nights off, type?
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The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.
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Designers don't put out the same sweater every year. They just keep creating.
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I have no complaints about losing money I put in high-risk investments. I did some of that when I had real money my informed choice, my measured gamble.
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There are many comedians who are afraid to work outside the coasts and the casinos because they're afraid they'll bomb.
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People want sex education out of the schools. They believe sex education causes promiscuity. Hey, I took algebra, but I never do math.
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For me, comedy is a day-to-day report on the human condition. It's what's happening right now. I get maybe 20 minutes of my act straight from the newspaper.
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We've seen the uproars around the world concerning cartoons depicting the prophet Mohammad. Anyone who does not think comic strips are relevant never had a fatwa put on him/her for drawing a picture.
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You know, if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport.
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I pray if I ever find out I have only about three minutes to live it's during a basketball game, because then I'll have, what, 10, 12 years to live?
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I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food.
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I wasn't funny as a kid. I remember enjoying comedians, but I never understood it was a job choice or a profession.
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I never minded flying cheap. I always said to myself, 'Taking this flight saves enough money to rescue four dogs, or six cats, or will let me make a difference to the one woman saving chimps in Cameroon.'
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When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping.
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I didn't get a high school diploma. I really didn't have much of an education, which left me open to educating myself throughout my life, without the limitations on intellectual curiosity a formal education can impose. I followed what interested me.
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I can tell by your eye shadow, you're from Brooklyn, right? . . . Me too. My mother has plastic covers on all the furniture. Even the poodle. Looked like a barking hassock walking down the street.
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