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My belief is that guns are too easy to get in America. My belief is that the NRA has bought much of our congress, to the point that guns are actually the only unregulated consumer product in America. Think about that. It's stunning.
Elayne Boosler
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Elayne Boosler
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Brooklyn
New York
Easy
Consumers
America
Gun
Much
Product
Unregulated
Think
Congress
Nra
Thinking
Products
Stunning
Belief
Consumer
Point
Guns
Actually
Bought
More quotes by Elayne Boosler
I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food.
Elayne Boosler
People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's under water. But it's certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool.
Elayne Boosler
While editors and newspaper owners currently fret over shrinking readership and lost profits, they do the one thing that insures cutting their own throats they keep reducing space for the one feature that attracts new young readers in the first place the comic strips.
Elayne Boosler
Citizens are all equal in politics: we each have one vote.
Elayne Boosler
I'm pretty equal opportunity when it comes to issues to joke about.
Elayne Boosler
Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?
Elayne Boosler
When the sun comes up, I have morals again.
Elayne Boosler
Comedy is a blood sport. It flays the truth and spurts twisted logic. In America, people become comics because we don't have bullfighting.
Elayne Boosler
When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping.
Elayne Boosler
The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.
Elayne Boosler
Guys wake up at your place and they expect breakfast. They don't eat bagels and M&M's in the morning. They want things like toast. I say, 'I don't have these recipes.'
Elayne Boosler
Every time we help an animal, we are healing ourselves, over and over.
Elayne Boosler
Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower.
Elayne Boosler
Most people love animals, and most people love to laugh. Combining the two makes both resonate deeper.
Elayne Boosler
I run everywhere and eavesdrop. It's the best way to see a city.
Elayne Boosler
I always had a running commentary in my head that was extremely funny and off-center, but I never said it to anyone.
Elayne Boosler
People want sex education out of the schools. They believe sex education causes promiscuity. Hey, I took algebra, but I never do math.
Elayne Boosler
Men put all kinds of expectations on you. They want you to scream 'You're the best' while swearing you've never done this with anyone before.
Elayne Boosler
I never minded flying cheap. I always said to myself, 'Taking this flight saves enough money to rescue four dogs, or six cats, or will let me make a difference to the one woman saving chimps in Cameroon.'
Elayne Boosler
A study last year showed that the page you turn to first in the newspaper can be a predictor of how long you will live. No surprise, turning first to the Comics Pages prolongs your life.
Elayne Boosler