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I personally cannot tell you how many times we rescuers put our names on animals to come to us as soon as they are eligible for release, only to find they have been senselessly killed by overzealous pound workers.

Elayne Boosler

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Elayne Boosler
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Brooklyn
New York
Names
Pounds
Times
Personally
Tell
Killed
Cannot
Release
Rescuers
Find
Workers
Senselessly
Come
Animals
Overzealous
Many
Soon
Eligible
Animal
Pound

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Every time we help an animal, we are healing ourselves, over and over.
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A study last year showed that the page you turn to first in the newspaper can be a predictor of how long you will live. No surprise, turning first to the Comics Pages prolongs your life.
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The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.
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Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower.
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We've seen the uproars around the world concerning cartoons depicting the prophet Mohammad. Anyone who does not think comic strips are relevant never had a fatwa put on him/her for drawing a picture.
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Here is what is needed for Occupy Wall Street to become a force for change: a clear, and clearly expressed, objective. Or two.
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My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.
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San Francisco is really fun and liberal, and it's my kind of politics. It's like being Jewish in front of Jewish people.
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Citizens are all equal in politics: we each have one vote.
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I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.
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Wouldn’t it be great to see a line in all movie credits that truthfully says, “Nobody was harmed in the making of this film, and at the cast party, all animals got a belly belly belly rub”.
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I run everywhere and eavesdrop. It's the best way to see a city.
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I wasn't funny as a kid. I remember enjoying comedians, but I never understood it was a job choice or a profession.
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What do hookers do on their nights off, type?
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Most people love animals, and most people love to laugh. Combining the two makes both resonate deeper.
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I love my parents and they're wonderful people, but they were strict, and I still look for ways to get even. When I got my own apartment for the very first time and they came to stay with me for the weekend, I made them stay in separate bedrooms.
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People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's under water. But it's certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool.
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I'm pretty equal opportunity when it comes to issues to joke about.
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When the sun comes up, I have morals again.
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I can't get married. I can't fake sleep for 30 years.
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