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Guys wake up at your place and they expect breakfast. They don't eat bagels and M&M's in the morning. They want things like toast. I say, 'I don't have these recipes.'
Elayne Boosler
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Elayne Boosler
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Brooklyn
New York
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Recipes
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Breakfast
Wake
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Guys
Morning
Bagels
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Toasts
More quotes by Elayne Boosler
I love my parents and they're wonderful people, but they were strict, and I still look for ways to get even. When I got my own apartment for the very first time and they came to stay with me for the weekend, I made them stay in separate bedrooms.
Elayne Boosler
Comedy is a blood sport. It flays the truth and spurts twisted logic. In America, people become comics because we don't have bullfighting.
Elayne Boosler
Every time we help an animal, we are healing ourselves, over and over.
Elayne Boosler
People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's under water. But it's certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool.
Elayne Boosler
I can't get married. I can't fake sleep for 30 years.
Elayne Boosler
You know, if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport.
Elayne Boosler
I'm pretty equal opportunity when it comes to issues to joke about.
Elayne Boosler
Designers don't put out the same sweater every year. They just keep creating.
Elayne Boosler
I personally cannot tell you how many times we rescuers put our names on animals to come to us as soon as they are eligible for release, only to find they have been senselessly killed by overzealous pound workers.
Elayne Boosler
I read books that say if you want to keep sex hot you tell a person what you want. How do you tell 'em you want somebody else?
Elayne Boosler
I run everywhere and eavesdrop. It's the best way to see a city.
Elayne Boosler
I have no complaints about losing money I put in high-risk investments. I did some of that when I had real money my informed choice, my measured gamble.
Elayne Boosler
I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food.
Elayne Boosler
Most people love animals, and most people love to laugh. Combining the two makes both resonate deeper.
Elayne Boosler
While editors and newspaper owners currently fret over shrinking readership and lost profits, they do the one thing that insures cutting their own throats they keep reducing space for the one feature that attracts new young readers in the first place the comic strips.
Elayne Boosler
I always had a running commentary in my head that was extremely funny and off-center, but I never said it to anyone.
Elayne Boosler
When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping.
Elayne Boosler
I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people, no matter how hard it is, will eventually be recognized. I am doubly thankful that also goes for idiots.
Elayne Boosler
You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.
Elayne Boosler
When the sun comes up, I have morals again.
Elayne Boosler