Quote

You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.

Elayne Boosler

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Elayne Boosler
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Brooklyn
New York
Woman
Women
Bald
Littles
Spot
Little
Spots
Never
Street
Men
Walking
Streets
Funny

More quotes by Elayne Boosler

Image
Why isn't the movie industry forced to open its shooting locations to an organization that is there to advocate for animal actors? The industry isn't allowed to pick and choose which movies using young children it will or won't allow to be monitored. The vulnerable should be protected.
Elayne Boosler
Image
My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.
Elayne Boosler
Image
I always had a running commentary in my head that was extremely funny and off-center, but I never said it to anyone.
Elayne Boosler
Image
Comedy is a blood sport. It flays the truth and spurts twisted logic. In America, people become comics because we don't have bullfighting.
Elayne Boosler
Image
A study last year showed that the page you turn to first in the newspaper can be a predictor of how long you will live. No surprise, turning first to the Comics Pages prolongs your life.
Elayne Boosler
Image
When the sun comes up, I have morals again.
Elayne Boosler
Image
My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.
Elayne Boosler
Image
I deliver very traditionally, and people aren't threatened. I think if I cursed or seemed wilder, I couldn't get away with the amount of very opinionated politics I get away with.
Elayne Boosler
Image
Guys wake up at your place and they expect breakfast. They don't eat bagels and M&M's in the morning. They want things like toast. I say, 'I don't have these recipes.'
Elayne Boosler
Image
You know you are in love when you are willing to share your cash-machine number.
Elayne Boosler
Image
I run everywhere and eavesdrop. It's the best way to see a city.
Elayne Boosler
Image
I think about death. I don't want to die with clothes in the cleaners.
Elayne Boosler
Image
When I played the Sahara Hotel in Las Vegas on New Year's Eve, I got to bring Wiley, my 85-pound black lab. He's responsible for my favorite New Year's memory of all: At the end of the show, he ran onstage and then out across all the tables in the showroom, sending champagne glasses and gamblers flying.
Elayne Boosler
Image
Men put all kinds of expectations on you. They want you to scream 'You're the best' while swearing you've never done this with anyone before.
Elayne Boosler
Image
I’ve thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent.
Elayne Boosler
Image
My belief is that guns are too easy to get in America. My belief is that the NRA has bought much of our congress, to the point that guns are actually the only unregulated consumer product in America. Think about that. It's stunning.
Elayne Boosler
Image
What do hookers do on their nights off, type?
Elayne Boosler
Image
Wouldn’t it be great to see a line in all movie credits that truthfully says, “Nobody was harmed in the making of this film, and at the cast party, all animals got a belly belly belly rub”.
Elayne Boosler
Image
Every time we help an animal, we are healing ourselves, over and over.
Elayne Boosler
Image
We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, 'You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.'
Elayne Boosler