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There are many comedians who are afraid to work outside the coasts and the casinos because they're afraid they'll bomb.
Elayne Boosler
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Elayne Boosler
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Brooklyn
New York
Bombs
Comedian
Outside
Coasts
Afraid
Casinos
Many
Comedians
Work
Bomb
Coast
More quotes by Elayne Boosler
When the sun comes up, I have morals again.
Elayne Boosler
To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy.
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I pray if I ever find out I have only about three minutes to live it's during a basketball game, because then I'll have, what, 10, 12 years to live?
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I think about death. I don't want to die with clothes in the cleaners.
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I always had a running commentary in my head that was extremely funny and off-center, but I never said it to anyone.
Elayne Boosler
Most people love animals, and most people love to laugh. Combining the two makes both resonate deeper.
Elayne Boosler
For a single woman, preparing for company means wiping the lipstick off the milk carton.
Elayne Boosler
I’ve thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent.
Elayne Boosler
I personally cannot tell you how many times we rescuers put our names on animals to come to us as soon as they are eligible for release, only to find they have been senselessly killed by overzealous pound workers.
Elayne Boosler
I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.
Elayne Boosler
Every time we help an animal, we are healing ourselves, over and over.
Elayne Boosler
I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people, no matter how hard it is, will eventually be recognized. I am doubly thankful that also goes for idiots.
Elayne Boosler
I run everywhere and eavesdrop. It's the best way to see a city.
Elayne Boosler
My mother always said you could eat off her floor you could eat of my floor too, there's so much food down there.
Elayne Boosler
We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, 'You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.'
Elayne Boosler
Here is what is needed for Occupy Wall Street to become a force for change: a clear, and clearly expressed, objective. Or two.
Elayne Boosler
Guys wake up at your place and they expect breakfast. They don't eat bagels and M&M's in the morning. They want things like toast. I say, 'I don't have these recipes.'
Elayne Boosler
I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food.
Elayne Boosler
I love my parents and they're wonderful people, but they were strict, and I still look for ways to get even. When I got my own apartment for the very first time and they came to stay with me for the weekend, I made them stay in separate bedrooms.
Elayne Boosler
Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower.
Elayne Boosler