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To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy.

Elayne Boosler

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Elayne Boosler
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Brooklyn
New York
Silence
Comedy
Keys
Quiet
Listen

More quotes by Elayne Boosler

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I read books that say if you want to keep sex hot you tell a person what you want. How do you tell 'em you want somebody else?
Elayne Boosler
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I can tell by your eye shadow, you're from Brooklyn, right? . . . Me too. My mother has plastic covers on all the furniture. Even the poodle. Looked like a barking hassock walking down the street.
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There are many comedians who are afraid to work outside the coasts and the casinos because they're afraid they'll bomb.
Elayne Boosler
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My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.
Elayne Boosler
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Comedy is a blood sport. It flays the truth and spurts twisted logic. In America, people become comics because we don't have bullfighting.
Elayne Boosler
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I love my parents and they're wonderful people, but they were strict, and I still look for ways to get even. When I got my own apartment for the very first time and they came to stay with me for the weekend, I made them stay in separate bedrooms.
Elayne Boosler
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My mother always said you could eat off her floor you could eat of my floor too, there's so much food down there.
Elayne Boosler
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People want sex education out of the schools. They believe sex education causes promiscuity. Hey, I took algebra, but I never do math.
Elayne Boosler
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San Francisco is really fun and liberal, and it's my kind of politics. It's like being Jewish in front of Jewish people.
Elayne Boosler
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For a single woman, preparing for company means wiping the lipstick off the milk carton.
Elayne Boosler
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Here is what is needed for Occupy Wall Street to become a force for change: a clear, and clearly expressed, objective. Or two.
Elayne Boosler
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I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food.
Elayne Boosler
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I think about death. I don't want to die with clothes in the cleaners.
Elayne Boosler
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I can't get married. I can't fake sleep for 30 years.
Elayne Boosler
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I pray if I ever find out I have only about three minutes to live it's during a basketball game, because then I'll have, what, 10, 12 years to live?
Elayne Boosler
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Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower.
Elayne Boosler
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You know you are in love when you are willing to share your cash-machine number.
Elayne Boosler
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I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people, no matter how hard it is, will eventually be recognized. I am doubly thankful that also goes for idiots.
Elayne Boosler
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I have always put my own money into Tails of Joy. For years, every time a dog walked by, my husband would say, 'There goes our beach house.'
Elayne Boosler
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Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?
Elayne Boosler