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To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy.
Elayne Boosler
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Elayne Boosler
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Brooklyn
New York
Keys
Quiet
Listen
Silence
Comedy
More quotes by Elayne Boosler
For a single woman, preparing for company means wiping the lipstick off the milk carton.
Elayne Boosler
I love my parents and they're wonderful people, but they were strict, and I still look for ways to get even. When I got my own apartment for the very first time and they came to stay with me for the weekend, I made them stay in separate bedrooms.
Elayne Boosler
I have always put my own money into Tails of Joy. For years, every time a dog walked by, my husband would say, 'There goes our beach house.'
Elayne Boosler
Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?
Elayne Boosler
I personally cannot tell you how many times we rescuers put our names on animals to come to us as soon as they are eligible for release, only to find they have been senselessly killed by overzealous pound workers.
Elayne Boosler
My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.
Elayne Boosler
We've seen the uproars around the world concerning cartoons depicting the prophet Mohammad. Anyone who does not think comic strips are relevant never had a fatwa put on him/her for drawing a picture.
Elayne Boosler
My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.
Elayne Boosler
I pray if I ever find out I have only about three minutes to live it's during a basketball game, because then I'll have, what, 10, 12 years to live?
Elayne Boosler
My mother always said you could eat off her floor you could eat of my floor too, there's so much food down there.
Elayne Boosler
A study last year showed that the page you turn to first in the newspaper can be a predictor of how long you will live. No surprise, turning first to the Comics Pages prolongs your life.
Elayne Boosler
Every time we help an animal, we are healing ourselves, over and over.
Elayne Boosler
Men put all kinds of expectations on you. They want you to scream 'You're the best' while swearing you've never done this with anyone before.
Elayne Boosler
Horse racing is waning in popularity.
Elayne Boosler
I deliver very traditionally, and people aren't threatened. I think if I cursed or seemed wilder, I couldn't get away with the amount of very opinionated politics I get away with.
Elayne Boosler
I think about death. I don't want to die with clothes in the cleaners.
Elayne Boosler
I'm pretty equal opportunity when it comes to issues to joke about.
Elayne Boosler
You know you are in love when you are willing to share your cash-machine number.
Elayne Boosler
I always had a running commentary in my head that was extremely funny and off-center, but I never said it to anyone.
Elayne Boosler
The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.
Elayne Boosler