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My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.

Elayne Boosler

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Elayne Boosler
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Brooklyn
New York
Years
Biblical
Would
Wilderness
Forty
Men
Stop
Asks
Wandered
Times
Directions
Lost
Ancestors
Even
Ancestor

More quotes by Elayne Boosler

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I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people, no matter how hard it is, will eventually be recognized. I am doubly thankful that also goes for idiots.
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Every time we help an animal, we are healing ourselves, over and over.
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There are many comedians who are afraid to work outside the coasts and the casinos because they're afraid they'll bomb.
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My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.
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Here is what is needed for Occupy Wall Street to become a force for change: a clear, and clearly expressed, objective. Or two.
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I love my parents and they're wonderful people, but they were strict, and I still look for ways to get even. When I got my own apartment for the very first time and they came to stay with me for the weekend, I made them stay in separate bedrooms.
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While editors and newspaper owners currently fret over shrinking readership and lost profits, they do the one thing that insures cutting their own throats they keep reducing space for the one feature that attracts new young readers in the first place the comic strips.
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You know, if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport.
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Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower.
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Citizens are all equal in politics: we each have one vote.
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What do hookers do on their nights off, type?
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I always had a running commentary in my head that was extremely funny and off-center, but I never said it to anyone.
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I run everywhere and eavesdrop. It's the best way to see a city.
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Most people love animals, and most people love to laugh. Combining the two makes both resonate deeper.
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I can't get married. I can't fake sleep for 30 years.
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People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's under water. But it's certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool.
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I'm pretty equal opportunity when it comes to issues to joke about.
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You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.
Elayne Boosler
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I’ve thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent.
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For me, comedy is a day-to-day report on the human condition. It's what's happening right now. I get maybe 20 minutes of my act straight from the newspaper.
Elayne Boosler