Quote

My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.

Elayne Boosler

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Elayne Boosler
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Brooklyn
New York
Would
Wilderness
Men
Forty
Stop
Asks
Wandered
Times
Directions
Lost
Ancestors
Even
Ancestor
Years
Biblical

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While editors and newspaper owners currently fret over shrinking readership and lost profits, they do the one thing that insures cutting their own throats they keep reducing space for the one feature that attracts new young readers in the first place the comic strips.
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The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.
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When I played the Sahara Hotel in Las Vegas on New Year's Eve, I got to bring Wiley, my 85-pound black lab. He's responsible for my favorite New Year's memory of all: At the end of the show, he ran onstage and then out across all the tables in the showroom, sending champagne glasses and gamblers flying.
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A study last year showed that the page you turn to first in the newspaper can be a predictor of how long you will live. No surprise, turning first to the Comics Pages prolongs your life.
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For me, comedy is a day-to-day report on the human condition. It's what's happening right now. I get maybe 20 minutes of my act straight from the newspaper.
Elayne Boosler
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I run everywhere and eavesdrop. It's the best way to see a city.
Elayne Boosler
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San Francisco is really fun and liberal, and it's my kind of politics. It's like being Jewish in front of Jewish people.
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My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.
Elayne Boosler
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Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower.
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Guys wake up at your place and they expect breakfast. They don't eat bagels and M&M's in the morning. They want things like toast. I say, 'I don't have these recipes.'
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Every time we help an animal, we are healing ourselves, over and over.
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I deliver very traditionally, and people aren't threatened. I think if I cursed or seemed wilder, I couldn't get away with the amount of very opinionated politics I get away with.
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Wouldn’t it be great to see a line in all movie credits that truthfully says, “Nobody was harmed in the making of this film, and at the cast party, all animals got a belly belly belly rub”.
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I can't get married. I can't fake sleep for 30 years.
Elayne Boosler
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I personally cannot tell you how many times we rescuers put our names on animals to come to us as soon as they are eligible for release, only to find they have been senselessly killed by overzealous pound workers.
Elayne Boosler
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When the sun comes up, I have morals again.
Elayne Boosler
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Horse racing is waning in popularity.
Elayne Boosler
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You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.
Elayne Boosler
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Most people love animals, and most people love to laugh. Combining the two makes both resonate deeper.
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I never minded flying cheap. I always said to myself, 'Taking this flight saves enough money to rescue four dogs, or six cats, or will let me make a difference to the one woman saving chimps in Cameroon.'
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