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When the sun comes up, I have morals again.

Elayne Boosler

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Elayne Boosler
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: August 18
Actor
Comedian
Brooklyn
New York
Clever
Sun
Moral
Funny
Comes
Women
Morals
Witty
Humorous

More quotes by Elayne Boosler

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I'm pretty equal opportunity when it comes to issues to joke about.
Elayne Boosler
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I love my parents and they're wonderful people, but they were strict, and I still look for ways to get even. When I got my own apartment for the very first time and they came to stay with me for the weekend, I made them stay in separate bedrooms.
Elayne Boosler
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My mother always said you could eat off her floor you could eat of my floor too, there's so much food down there.
Elayne Boosler
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We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, 'You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.'
Elayne Boosler
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People want sex education out of the schools. They believe sex education causes promiscuity. Hey, I took algebra, but I never do math.
Elayne Boosler
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Horse racing is waning in popularity.
Elayne Boosler
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I never minded flying cheap. I always said to myself, 'Taking this flight saves enough money to rescue four dogs, or six cats, or will let me make a difference to the one woman saving chimps in Cameroon.'
Elayne Boosler
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Here is what is needed for Occupy Wall Street to become a force for change: a clear, and clearly expressed, objective. Or two.
Elayne Boosler
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You know you are in love when you are willing to share your cash-machine number.
Elayne Boosler
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You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.
Elayne Boosler
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My belief is that guns are too easy to get in America. My belief is that the NRA has bought much of our congress, to the point that guns are actually the only unregulated consumer product in America. Think about that. It's stunning.
Elayne Boosler
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Guys wake up at your place and they expect breakfast. They don't eat bagels and M&M's in the morning. They want things like toast. I say, 'I don't have these recipes.'
Elayne Boosler
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I always had a running commentary in my head that was extremely funny and off-center, but I never said it to anyone.
Elayne Boosler
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My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.
Elayne Boosler
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I can tell by your eye shadow, you're from Brooklyn, right? . . . Me too. My mother has plastic covers on all the furniture. Even the poodle. Looked like a barking hassock walking down the street.
Elayne Boosler
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What do hookers do on their nights off, type?
Elayne Boosler
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I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food.
Elayne Boosler
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I didn't get a high school diploma. I really didn't have much of an education, which left me open to educating myself throughout my life, without the limitations on intellectual curiosity a formal education can impose. I followed what interested me.
Elayne Boosler
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I can't get married. I can't fake sleep for 30 years.
Elayne Boosler
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I run everywhere and eavesdrop. It's the best way to see a city.
Elayne Boosler