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There was an Old Person of Brussels, Who lived upon Brandy and Mussels When he rushed through the town, he knocked most people down, Which distressed all the people of Brussels.

Edward Lear

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Edward Lear
Age: 75 †
Born: 1812
Born: May 12
Died: 1888
Died: January 29
Artist
Comedian
Illustrator
Landscape Painter
Novelist
Ornithologist
Painter
Poet
Scientific Illustrator
Writer
Derry Down Derry
Eduard Liri
Entouarnt Lēar
Eduʼard Lir
Lear
lear e
Person
Rushed
People
Knocked
Alcohol
Town
Towns
Lived
Distressed
Upon
Brussels
Persons
Brandy

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A vile beastly rottenheaded foolbegotten brazenthroated pernicous piggish screaming, tearing, roaring, perplexing, splitmecrackle crashmecriggle insane ass of a woman is practising howling below-stairs with a brute of a singingmaster so horribly, that my head is nearly off.
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It's a fact the whole world knows, That Pobbles are happier without their toes.
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And they brought an Owl, and a useful Cart, And a pound of Rice, and a CranberryTart, And a hive of silvery Bees. And they brought a Pig, and some green Jack-daws, And a lovely Monkey with lollipop paws, and forty Bottles of Ring-Bo-Ree, And no end of Stilton Cheese.
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There was an Old Man of Columbia, Who was thirsty, and called out for some beer But they brought it quite hot, in a small copper pot, Which disgusted that Man of Columbia.
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It takes a long time to make a painter - even with a good artist's education - but without one it tries the patience of Job it is a great thing if one does not go backward.
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There was an Old Man with an owl, Who continued to bother and howl He sate on a rail, and imbibed bitter ale, Which refreshed that Old Man and his owl.
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There was a Young Person in pink, Who called out for something to drink But they said, 'O my daughter, there's nothing but water!' Which vexed that Young Person in pink.
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I am in a very unsettled condition, as the oyster said when they poured melted butter all over his back.
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Who, or why, or which, or what, Is the Akhond of Swat?
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There was an old man with a beard, who said: 'It is just as I feared! Two owls and a hen, four larks and a wren have all built their nests in my beard.
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There was an Old Man of Messina, Whose daughter was named Opsibeena She wore a small wig, and rode out on a pig, To the perfect delight of Messina.
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The owl and the pussycat went to sea, / In a beautiful pea green boat. / They took some honey, and plenty of money, / Wrapped up in a five pound note.
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I am almost thanking God that I was never educated, for it seems to me that 999 of those who are so, expensively and laboriously, have lost all before they arrive at my age-& remain like Swift's Stulbruggs-cut and dry for life, making no use of their earlier-gained treasures:-whereas, I seem to be on the threshold of knowledge.
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And if you voz to see my roziz As is a boon to all men's noziz, - You'd fall upon your back and scream - ' Lawk! O criky! it's a dream!
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What will happen to me, as the oyster said when he very inadvertently swallowed the gooseberry bush, nobody can tell.
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They went to sea in a sieve, they did In a sieve they went to sea In spite of all their friends could say.
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I was much distressed by next door people who had twin babies & played the violin: but one of the twins died, & the other has eaten the fiddle — so all is peace.
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