They tell me Wagner's music is better than it sounds.

Many people have traveled all their lives and yet do not know how to behave themselves when on the road... Ladies and gentlemen should guard against traveling by rail while in a beastly state of intoxication... the morning is a good time to find out how many people have succeeded in getting on the passenger train, who ought to be in the stock car.

The earth is convulsed with a universal sob, and the roads are muddy with tears. But I do not call to mind a more touching picture of unavailing misery and ruin, and hopeless chaos, than the plug hat that has endeavored to keep sober and maintain self-respect while its owner was drunk.

Youth is the spring-time of life. It is the time to acquire information, so that we may show it off in after years and paralyze people with what we know.