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I can go from blokey to girlie in 15 minutes and then I'm out the door. But that's the fastest I can do it. Becoming a woman takes work.
Eddie Izzard
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Eddie Izzard
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 7
Actor
Comedian
Improviser
Politician
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Edward John Izzard
Eddie John Izzard
Edward Jonathan Izzard
Eddie Jonathan Izzard
Edward Izzard
Edward J. Izzard
Eddie J. Izzard
Becoming
Minutes
Takes
Woman
Work
Girlie
Fastest
Door
Doors
More quotes by Eddie Izzard
I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don't deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of acting is to be truthful, and they get that mixed up sometimes, or don't even notice that that's the thing.
Eddie Izzard
If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death.
Eddie Izzard
Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of the sex: Girls girls, ooo. Naturally you want to look your best, and God says No! You will look the worst you've ever looked in your life!
Eddie Izzard
I want to live till I die. No more, no less.
Eddie Izzard
Danger could be my middle name... But it's John.
Eddie Izzard
I'd be happy to be taken as a woman - and that's what I was initially trying to do when I started throwing on dresses and stuff. But that wasn't going to happen because everyone kept calling me sir. So I thought I'd change the method and just start wearing what I wanted to wear.
Eddie Izzard
Before birds get sucked into jet engines, do they ever think, Is that Rod Stewart in first class?
Eddie Izzard
Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written by others.
Eddie Izzard
You're gay, you sell books... you probably shag the books.
Eddie Izzard
Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away that's the deal.
Eddie Izzard
MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.
Eddie Izzard
It's a historical thing, up to the 19th century the English hated the French. Then in the 20th century the English started to hate the Germans - as we began to move alphabetically through the map of the world. Now, the year 2000, we are fine with the Germans... but the Hungarians are pissing us off.
Eddie Izzard
I appreciate your applause, but I don't do it for applause. I do it for cash, it's much better.
Eddie Izzard
Spiders frighten me. In response to the spider alerts for Australia, please can the Australian government remove all spiders from Australia and blow them into outer space.
Eddie Izzard
I am a professional transvestite, so I can run about in heels and not fall over.
Eddie Izzard
Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).
Eddie Izzard
And the National Rifle Association says that, Guns don't kill people, people do, but I think the gun helps, you know? I think it helps. I just think just standing there going, Bang! That's not going to kill too many people, is it? You'd have to be really dodgy on the heart to have that.
Eddie Izzard
Everyone gets cards at the beginning of life. I am transgender, I decided to be honest and tell everyone about it, and that's it.
Eddie Izzard
Animals in the wild are lean, and I think we should be too.
Eddie Izzard
We must have been hunters and gatherers but some of us were just waiters and hopers.
Eddie Izzard
