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I can go from blokey to girlie in 15 minutes and then I'm out the door. But that's the fastest I can do it. Becoming a woman takes work.

Eddie Izzard

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Eddie Izzard
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 7
Actor
Comedian
Improviser
Politician
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Edward John Izzard
Eddie John Izzard
Edward Jonathan Izzard
Eddie Jonathan Izzard
Edward Izzard
Edward J. Izzard
Eddie J. Izzard
Doors
Becoming
Minutes
Takes
Woman
Work
Girlie
Fastest
Door

More quotes by Eddie Izzard

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Sharks are just evil bastards. I'm quite happy if all the sharks just went, because they eat fish and us. And we need the fish.
Eddie Izzard
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You notice how they always put the fruit and veg at the entrance to the supermarket? You go in thinking 'this is a fresh shop, everything in here is FRESH! I will do well to shop here'. You never go straight to the bit with the toilet paper, loo brushes and such do you? You'd think 'this is a POO shop! Everything in here is themed on POO!
Eddie Izzard
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Poetry is very similar to music, only less notes and more words.
Eddie Izzard
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That's no good, I can't steal from the fairly well off and give to the moderately impoverished! That's not gonna swing, is it?
Eddie Izzard
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So in Europe, we had empires. Everyone had them - France and Spain and Britain and Turkey! The Ottoman Empire, full of furniture for some reason. And the Austro-Hungarian Empire, famous for f-k all! Yes, all they did was slowly collapse like a flan in a cupboard.
Eddie Izzard
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Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia. This is true, they proved this one. The word dyslexia was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.
Eddie Izzard
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I did bronze survival swimming. I could save people in a bronzey kind of way.
Eddie Izzard
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If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death.
Eddie Izzard
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I'd be happy to be taken as a woman - and that's what I was initially trying to do when I started throwing on dresses and stuff. But that wasn't going to happen because everyone kept calling me sir. So I thought I'd change the method and just start wearing what I wanted to wear.
Eddie Izzard
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The bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of drama is to be truthful. You can be truthful and funny, but if you're not truthful in a drama than the audience leaves you.
Eddie Izzard
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I wanted to be less well-known in comedy.
Eddie Izzard
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All humans can do more than they think they can do. So I think we can all actually be more superhuman than we think we can.
Eddie Izzard
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If I were Achilles I would put my foot in a f**k off block of concrete!
Eddie Izzard
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I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don't deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of acting is to be truthful, and they get that mixed up sometimes, or don't even notice that that's the thing.
Eddie Izzard
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I'm into humanity. I don't believe in God, but I believe in human beings.
Eddie Izzard
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They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'
Eddie Izzard
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Two languages in one brain? No one can live at that speed!
Eddie Izzard
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But the Dutch speak four languages and smoke marijuana!
Eddie Izzard
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Some people are widely read. I'm thinly read.
Eddie Izzard
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You’ve got to believe you can be a standup before you can be a standup. You have to believe you can act before you can act. You have to believe you can be an astronaut before you can be an astronaut. You’ve got to believe.
Eddie Izzard