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You're gay, you sell books... you probably shag the books.

Eddie Izzard

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Eddie Izzard
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 7
Actor
Comedian
Improviser
Politician
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Edward John Izzard
Eddie John Izzard
Edward Jonathan Izzard
Eddie Jonathan Izzard
Edward Izzard
Edward J. Izzard
Eddie J. Izzard
Shag
Sell
Sells
Gay
Probably
Books
Book

More quotes by Eddie Izzard

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Sharks are just evil bastards. I'm quite happy if all the sharks just went, because they eat fish and us. And we need the fish.
Eddie Izzard
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It's my manifest destiny to wear a skirt in all countries.
Eddie Izzard
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Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of the sex: Girls girls, ooo. Naturally you want to look your best, and God says No! You will look the worst you've ever looked in your life!
Eddie Izzard
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What was the first cat that talked a human into putting a cat door in?
Eddie Izzard
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My Gran said put a thimble on your finger and it helps you in case you slip with the needle and it goes up, into the brain, and death.
Eddie Izzard
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San Francisco! City of dreaming spires, people live here... Golden Gate Bridge, ahh the Romans came here.
Eddie Izzard
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If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.
Eddie Izzard
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He [Charlie Chaplin] was always playing as if it were to the camera, if you've seen the live shots of him when he's going to an opening night or something like that. And the skills that he had were beyond my ability to throw together. You just couldn't really compete with him. He was too athletic at that.
Eddie Izzard
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We must have been hunters and gatherers but some of us were just waiters and hopers.
Eddie Izzard
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When I was seven, I said, I want to act. When I was 10, I realized that films exist, and I wanted to be in them. Not a comedian, I wanted to be a dramatic actor. Films just seemed such fun, and like such a great thing to do.
Eddie Izzard
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I try to keep performing as much as possible - I just like to. I used to take huge gaps off between gigs, now I just like to do stand-up gigs as much as I can.
Eddie Izzard
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Honey bees are amazing creatures. I mean, think about it, do earwigs make chutney?
Eddie Izzard
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Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia. This is true, they proved this one. The word dyslexia was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.
Eddie Izzard
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They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'
Eddie Izzard
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So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!
Eddie Izzard
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All humans can do more than they think they can do. So I think we can all actually be more superhuman than we think we can.
Eddie Izzard
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That's no good, I can't steal from the fairly well off and give to the moderately impoverished! That's not gonna swing, is it?
Eddie Izzard
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Two languages in one brain? No one can live at that speed!
Eddie Izzard
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I wanted to be less well-known in comedy.
Eddie Izzard
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But the Dutch speak four languages and smoke marijuana!
Eddie Izzard