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Spiders frighten me. In response to the spider alerts for Australia, please can the Australian government remove all spiders from Australia and blow them into outer space.

Eddie Izzard

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Eddie Izzard
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 7
Actor
Comedian
Improviser
Politician
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Edward John Izzard
Eddie John Izzard
Edward Jonathan Izzard
Eddie Jonathan Izzard
Edward Izzard
Edward J. Izzard
Eddie J. Izzard
Australia
Remove
Blow
Alerts
Response
Frighten
Please
Spider
Space
Spiders
Government
Australian
Outer

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When you're coming out, you have to deal with the whole world saying 'Oh! You're an abominable snowman'.
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They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'
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I'm a dyslexic person, so I avoid books.
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But the Dutch speak four languages and smoke marijuana!
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Two languages in one brain? No one can live at that speed!
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If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death.
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If you get anything creative going, then the work and play thing is the same thing, I feel.
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I am a professional transvestite, so I can run about in heels and not fall over.
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When I watched Braveheart I was in tears and I was rooting for the Scottish people
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I appreciate your applause, but I don't do it for applause. I do it for cash, it's much better.
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So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!
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If you get too well-known, you can never be a comedian's comedian, it just won't sit well. But I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that label.
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It's a historical thing, up to the 19th century the English hated the French. Then in the 20th century the English started to hate the Germans - as we began to move alphabetically through the map of the world. Now, the year 2000, we are fine with the Germans... but the Hungarians are pissing us off.
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I saw something in a program on something in Miami, and they were saying, We've redecorated this building to how it looked over 50 years ago! And people were going, No, surely not, no. No one was alive then.
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Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia. This is true, they proved this one. The word dyslexia was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.
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Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away that's the deal.
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Everyone gets cards at the beginning of life. I am transgender, I decided to be honest and tell everyone about it, and that's it.
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If you think about determination, if people have a heart and are determined, they can get to that place. But there are a lot of negative people who were enormously determined. All the Nazis were determined. They wanted to murder everyone. Everyone with a bad heart, who doesn't care about people, I wish they hadn't started.
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Before birds get sucked into jet engines, do they ever think, Is that Rod Stewart in first class?
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