Quote

So in Europe, we had empires. Everyone had them - France and Spain and Britain and Turkey! The Ottoman Empire, full of furniture for some reason. And the Austro-Hungarian Empire, famous for f-k all! Yes, all they did was slowly collapse like a flan in a cupboard.

Eddie Izzard

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Eddie Izzard
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 7
Actor
Comedian
Improviser
Politician
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Edward John Izzard
Eddie John Izzard
Edward Jonathan Izzard
Eddie Jonathan Izzard
Edward Izzard
Edward J. Izzard
Eddie J. Izzard
Reason
Collapse
Cupboard
Like
Slowly
Cupboards
Britain
Turkeys
France
Turkey
Famous
Spain
Ottoman
Europe
Furniture
Ottomans
Full
Empire
Hungarian
Everyone
Empires
Hungarians

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Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away that's the deal.
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Fox hunting, there's big fox hunting thing, there's arguments in Britain about fox hunting. And they go around. They obviously hunt foxes because the foxes, they attack chickens. And posh people have an alliance with chickens just like in the First World War.
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Honey bees are amazing creatures. I mean, think about it, do earwigs make chutney?
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It's my manifest destiny to wear a skirt in all countries.
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When you're more mature, you do start telling the truth, in odd situations. I'm sorry, I've broken a glass here. Is that expensive? I'll pay for it. I'm sorry. And you do that so that people in the room might go, What a strong personality that person has. I like to have sex with people with strong personalities.
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In the UK a lot of people don't like to try. There's a different cultural thing. Here [in USA] if you try and fail, you get up again and start again and keep going. People respect you for it. Even if you keep failing, they respect the tenacity.
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You're gay, you sell books... you probably shag the books.
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I don't know what it's like in the U.S. but immigrants in the U.K. do the jobs the citizens won't do.
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Danger could be my middle name... But it's John.
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When you're coming out, you have to deal with the whole world saying 'Oh! You're an abominable snowman'.
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I don't believe in God. So I'm a non-believer in the non-visible. I'm a believer in us in humans.
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When I was seven, I said, I want to act. When I was 10, I realized that films exist, and I wanted to be in them. Not a comedian, I wanted to be a dramatic actor. Films just seemed such fun, and like such a great thing to do.
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Before birds get sucked into jet engines, do they ever think, Is that Rod Stewart in first class?
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The bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of drama is to be truthful. You can be truthful and funny, but if you're not truthful in a drama than the audience leaves you.
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If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid.
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I'm into humanity. I don't believe in God, but I believe in human beings.
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Your eyes flashed fire into my soul. I immediately read the words of Dostoyevsky and Karl Marx, and in the words of Albert Schweitzer, I FANCY YOU!
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And the National Rifle Association says that, Guns don't kill people, people do, but I think the gun helps, you know? I think it helps. I just think just standing there going, Bang! That's not going to kill too many people, is it? You'd have to be really dodgy on the heart to have that.
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If you think about determination, if people have a heart and are determined, they can get to that place. But there are a lot of negative people who were enormously determined. All the Nazis were determined. They wanted to murder everyone. Everyone with a bad heart, who doesn't care about people, I wish they hadn't started.
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I'm a dyslexic person, so I avoid books.
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