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So in Europe, we had empires. Everyone had them - France and Spain and Britain and Turkey! The Ottoman Empire, full of furniture for some reason. And the Austro-Hungarian Empire, famous for f-k all! Yes, all they did was slowly collapse like a flan in a cupboard.

Eddie Izzard

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Eddie Izzard
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 7
Actor
Comedian
Improviser
Politician
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Edward John Izzard
Eddie John Izzard
Edward Jonathan Izzard
Eddie Jonathan Izzard
Edward Izzard
Edward J. Izzard
Eddie J. Izzard
Britain
Turkeys
France
Turkey
Famous
Spain
Ottoman
Europe
Furniture
Ottomans
Full
Empire
Hungarian
Everyone
Empires
Hungarians
Reason
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Cupboard
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More quotes by Eddie Izzard

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If you think about determination, if people have a heart and are determined, they can get to that place. But there are a lot of negative people who were enormously determined. All the Nazis were determined. They wanted to murder everyone. Everyone with a bad heart, who doesn't care about people, I wish they hadn't started.
Eddie Izzard
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Horseshoes are lucky. Horses have four bits of lucky nailed to their feet. They should be the luckiest animals in the world. They should rule the country. They should win all their horse races, at least. 'In the fifth race today, every single horse was first equal...one horse threw a shoe came in third...the duck was ninth...and five ran.'
Eddie Izzard
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I did bronze survival swimming. I could save people in a bronzey kind of way.
Eddie Izzard
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Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written by others.
Eddie Izzard
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In the UK a lot of people don't like to try. There's a different cultural thing. Here [in USA] if you try and fail, you get up again and start again and keep going. People respect you for it. Even if you keep failing, they respect the tenacity.
Eddie Izzard
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I try to just talk about human stories and what I think about religion or teapots or whatever.
Eddie Izzard
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Before birds get sucked into jet engines, do they ever think, Is that Rod Stewart in first class?
Eddie Izzard
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Sharks are just evil bastards. I'm quite happy if all the sharks just went, because they eat fish and us. And we need the fish.
Eddie Izzard
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Fox hunting, there's big fox hunting thing, there's arguments in Britain about fox hunting. And they go around. They obviously hunt foxes because the foxes, they attack chickens. And posh people have an alliance with chickens just like in the First World War.
Eddie Izzard
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Some people are widely read. I'm thinly read.
Eddie Izzard
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When I watched Braveheart I was in tears and I was rooting for the Scottish people
Eddie Izzard
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It's a historical thing, up to the 19th century the English hated the French. Then in the 20th century the English started to hate the Germans - as we began to move alphabetically through the map of the world. Now, the year 2000, we are fine with the Germans... but the Hungarians are pissing us off.
Eddie Izzard
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Comedy is like a very cokey, druggy sugar. You get hits of comedy, and it's very, More, give me more of that stuff, because serotonin is being released in the brain. So it's basically, everyone becomes serotonin junkies, and we are serotonin dealers. And that's what being a comedian is about.
Eddie Izzard
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Little red cookbook! Little red cookbook!
Eddie Izzard
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We must have been hunters and gatherers but some of us were just waiters and hopers.
Eddie Izzard
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Everyone gets cards at the beginning of life. I am transgender, I decided to be honest and tell everyone about it, and that's it.
Eddie Izzard
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If I were Achilles I would put my foot in a f**k off block of concrete!
Eddie Izzard
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Spiders frighten me. In response to the spider alerts for Australia, please can the Australian government remove all spiders from Australia and blow them into outer space.
Eddie Izzard
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We stole countries with the cunning use of flags. Just sail around the world and stick a flag in. I claim India for Britain! They're going You can't claim us, we live here! Five hundred million of us! Do you have a flag …? No... Well, if you don't have a flag, then you can't have a country. Those are the rules... that I just made u
Eddie Izzard
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I want to live till I die. No more, no less.
Eddie Izzard