Quote

Horseshoes are lucky. Horses have four bits of lucky nailed to their feet. They should be the luckiest animals in the world. They should rule the country. They should win all their horse races, at least. 'In the fifth race today, every single horse was first equal...one horse threw a shoe came in third...the duck was ninth...and five ran.'

Eddie Izzard

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Eddie Izzard
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 7
Actor
Comedian
Improviser
Politician
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Edward John Izzard
Eddie John Izzard
Edward Jonathan Izzard
Eddie Jonathan Izzard
Edward Izzard
Edward J. Izzard
Eddie J. Izzard
Every
Winning
Lucky
Horses
Nailed
World
Four
Equal
Ran
Ninth
Race
Single
Third
Duck
Five
Feet
Thirds
Shoe
Today
Bits
Shoes
Ducks
Firsts
Least
Animals
Threw
First
Animal
Rule
Races
Horseshoes
Country
Came
Horse
Fifth
Luckiest

More quotes by Eddie Izzard

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I wanted to be less well-known in comedy.
Eddie Izzard
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Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written by others.
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I'd be happy to be taken as a woman - and that's what I was initially trying to do when I started throwing on dresses and stuff. But that wasn't going to happen because everyone kept calling me sir. So I thought I'd change the method and just start wearing what I wanted to wear.
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Animals in the wild are lean, and I think we should be too.
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We must have been hunters and gatherers but some of us were just waiters and hopers.
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So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!
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I'm into humanity. I don't believe in God, but I believe in human beings.
Eddie Izzard
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In stand-up it really helps to play yourself and talk about your own feelings. You cannot fail to be original if you're just talking about what you think about X, Y and Z. Unless you've got a twin brother who's also a stand-up.
Eddie Izzard
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I can go from blokey to girlie in 15 minutes and then I'm out the door. But that's the fastest I can do it. Becoming a woman takes work.
Eddie Izzard
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I don't believe in God. I believe gods and devils are within us. It's our own battle. Our life's battle is to appeal to the gods within us, and to fight the devils within us.
Eddie Izzard
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I did bronze survival swimming. I could save people in a bronzey kind of way.
Eddie Izzard
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Before birds get sucked into jet engines, do they ever think, Is that Rod Stewart in first class?
Eddie Izzard
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Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of the sex: Girls girls, ooo. Naturally you want to look your best, and God says No! You will look the worst you've ever looked in your life!
Eddie Izzard
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But the Dutch speak four languages and smoke marijuana!
Eddie Izzard
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And the druids, they were into sex and death in an interesting night-time telly sort of way.
Eddie Izzard
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If you go down as a comedian's comedian, that's basically meaning other comedians are hopefully feeling that you're doing okay.
Eddie Izzard
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If you get too well-known, you can never be a comedian's comedian, it just won't sit well. But I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that label.
Eddie Izzard
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Performance enhancing drugs are banned in the Olympics. OK, we can swing with that. But performance 'debilitating' drugs should not be banned. Smoke a joint and win the 100 metres, fair play for you. That's pretty good. Unless someone's dangling a Mars bar off in the distance.
Eddie Izzard
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That's no good, I can't steal from the fairly well off and give to the moderately impoverished! That's not gonna swing, is it?
Eddie Izzard
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Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).
Eddie Izzard