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We must have been hunters and gatherers but some of us were just waiters and hopers.
Eddie Izzard
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Eddie Izzard
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 7
Actor
Comedian
Improviser
Politician
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Edward John Izzard
Eddie John Izzard
Edward Jonathan Izzard
Eddie Jonathan Izzard
Edward Izzard
Edward J. Izzard
Eddie J. Izzard
Hunters
Must
Gatherers
Waiters
Waiter
More quotes by Eddie Izzard
I'm a dyslexic person, so I avoid books.
Eddie Izzard
If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death.
Eddie Izzard
So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!
Eddie Izzard
All humans can do more than they think they can do. So I think we can all actually be more superhuman than we think we can.
Eddie Izzard
I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.
Eddie Izzard
That's no good, I can't steal from the fairly well off and give to the moderately impoverished! That's not gonna swing, is it?
Eddie Izzard
And the National Rifle Association says that, Guns don't kill people, people do, but I think the gun helps, you know? I think it helps. I just think just standing there going, Bang! That's not going to kill too many people, is it? You'd have to be really dodgy on the heart to have that.
Eddie Izzard
So in Europe, we had empires. Everyone had them - France and Spain and Britain and Turkey! The Ottoman Empire, full of furniture for some reason. And the Austro-Hungarian Empire, famous for f-k all! Yes, all they did was slowly collapse like a flan in a cupboard.
Eddie Izzard
Animals in the wild are lean, and I think we should be too.
Eddie Izzard
He [Charlie Chaplin] was always playing as if it were to the camera, if you've seen the live shots of him when he's going to an opening night or something like that. And the skills that he had were beyond my ability to throw together. You just couldn't really compete with him. He was too athletic at that.
Eddie Izzard
I'm into humanity. I don't believe in God, but I believe in human beings.
Eddie Izzard
When you're coming out, you have to deal with the whole world saying 'Oh! You're an abominable snowman'.
Eddie Izzard
You notice how they always put the fruit and veg at the entrance to the supermarket? You go in thinking 'this is a fresh shop, everything in here is FRESH! I will do well to shop here'. You never go straight to the bit with the toilet paper, loo brushes and such do you? You'd think 'this is a POO shop! Everything in here is themed on POO!
Eddie Izzard
I don't believe in God. So I'm a non-believer in the non-visible. I'm a believer in us in humans.
Eddie Izzard
Comedy is like a very cokey, druggy sugar. You get hits of comedy, and it's very, More, give me more of that stuff, because serotonin is being released in the brain. So it's basically, everyone becomes serotonin junkies, and we are serotonin dealers. And that's what being a comedian is about.
Eddie Izzard
Two languages in one brain? No one can live at that speed!
Eddie Izzard
When I watched Braveheart I was in tears and I was rooting for the Scottish people
Eddie Izzard
My stand-up is quite good now, people say. It's just like a big conversation each time. Every gig is a rehearsal.
Eddie Izzard
But puberty was... well, before puberty, at school, I didn't tell kids I was a transvestite 'cause I thought they might kill me with sticks, you know?
Eddie Izzard
What was the first cat that talked a human into putting a cat door in?
Eddie Izzard
