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We must have been hunters and gatherers but some of us were just waiters and hopers.
Eddie Izzard
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Eddie Izzard
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 7
Actor
Comedian
Improviser
Politician
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Edward John Izzard
Eddie John Izzard
Edward Jonathan Izzard
Eddie Jonathan Izzard
Edward Izzard
Edward J. Izzard
Eddie J. Izzard
Gatherers
Waiters
Waiter
Hunters
Must
More quotes by Eddie Izzard
America is the new Roman Empire. Remember what happened to Rome.
Eddie Izzard
I saw something in a program on something in Miami, and they were saying, We've redecorated this building to how it looked over 50 years ago! And people were going, No, surely not, no. No one was alive then.
Eddie Izzard
The Death Star is just full of British actors opening doors and going,Oh... I... oh... What is it Lieutenant Sebastian? It's just the Rebels, sir... they're here. My God, man! Do they want tea? No, I think they're after something a bit more than that, sir. I don't know what it is, but they've brought a flag. Damn, that's dash cunning of them.
Eddie Izzard
Performance enhancing drugs are banned in the Olympics. OK, we can swing with that. But performance 'debilitating' drugs should not be banned. Smoke a joint and win the 100 metres, fair play for you. That's pretty good. Unless someone's dangling a Mars bar off in the distance.
Eddie Izzard
Some people are widely read. I'm thinly read.
Eddie Izzard
But the Dutch speak four languages and smoke marijuana!
Eddie Izzard
Honey bees are amazing creatures. I mean, think about it, do earwigs make chutney?
Eddie Izzard
When I watched Braveheart I was in tears and I was rooting for the Scottish people
Eddie Izzard
We have two hundred languages in Europe. Two hundred languages! Count them! I know you won't!
Eddie Izzard
There's a thing about trying too hard, which I think is in all forms, which is if you really try to do things really well, you can get to a less good place than if you just let go and let it fly. Especially in creativity.
Eddie Izzard
Poetry is very similar to music, only less notes and more words.
Eddie Izzard
In stand-up it really helps to play yourself and talk about your own feelings. You cannot fail to be original if you're just talking about what you think about X, Y and Z. Unless you've got a twin brother who's also a stand-up.
Eddie Izzard
Before birds get sucked into jet engines, do they ever think, Is that Rod Stewart in first class?
Eddie Izzard
It's a historical thing, up to the 19th century the English hated the French. Then in the 20th century the English started to hate the Germans - as we began to move alphabetically through the map of the world. Now, the year 2000, we are fine with the Germans... but the Hungarians are pissing us off.
Eddie Izzard
Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).
Eddie Izzard
That's no good, I can't steal from the fairly well off and give to the moderately impoverished! That's not gonna swing, is it?
Eddie Izzard
Everyone gets cards at the beginning of life. I am transgender, I decided to be honest and tell everyone about it, and that's it.
Eddie Izzard
I can go from blokey to girlie in 15 minutes and then I'm out the door. But that's the fastest I can do it. Becoming a woman takes work.
Eddie Izzard
You notice how they always put the fruit and veg at the entrance to the supermarket? You go in thinking 'this is a fresh shop, everything in here is FRESH! I will do well to shop here'. You never go straight to the bit with the toilet paper, loo brushes and such do you? You'd think 'this is a POO shop! Everything in here is themed on POO!
Eddie Izzard
I try to just talk about human stories and what I think about religion or teapots or whatever.
Eddie Izzard
