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We must have been hunters and gatherers but some of us were just waiters and hopers.

Eddie Izzard

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Eddie Izzard
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 7
Actor
Comedian
Improviser
Politician
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Edward John Izzard
Eddie John Izzard
Edward Jonathan Izzard
Eddie Jonathan Izzard
Edward Izzard
Edward J. Izzard
Eddie J. Izzard
Must
Gatherers
Waiters
Waiter
Hunters

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Two languages in one brain? No one can live at that speed!
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When I was seven, I said, I want to act. When I was 10, I realized that films exist, and I wanted to be in them. Not a comedian, I wanted to be a dramatic actor. Films just seemed such fun, and like such a great thing to do.
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You have the American dream! The dream is to be born in a gutter and grow up, and then get all the money in the world and stick it in your ears and go THBBBBBT.
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If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.
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What was the first cat that talked a human into putting a cat door in?
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Poetry is very similar to music, only less notes and more words.
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If you get anything creative going, then the work and play thing is the same thing, I feel.
Eddie Izzard
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That's no good, I can't steal from the fairly well off and give to the moderately impoverished! That's not gonna swing, is it?
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When you're coming out, you have to deal with the whole world saying 'Oh! You're an abominable snowman'.
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I don't believe in God. So I'm a non-believer in the non-visible. I'm a believer in us in humans.
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He [Charlie Chaplin] was always playing as if it were to the camera, if you've seen the live shots of him when he's going to an opening night or something like that. And the skills that he had were beyond my ability to throw together. You just couldn't really compete with him. He was too athletic at that.
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We have two hundred languages in Europe. Two hundred languages! Count them! I know you won't!
Eddie Izzard
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Animals in the wild are lean, and I think we should be too.
Eddie Izzard
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If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid.
Eddie Izzard
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Before birds get sucked into jet engines, do they ever think, Is that Rod Stewart in first class?
Eddie Izzard
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America is the new Roman Empire. Remember what happened to Rome.
Eddie Izzard
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Honey bees are amazing creatures. I mean, think about it, do earwigs make chutney?
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The bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of drama is to be truthful. You can be truthful and funny, but if you're not truthful in a drama than the audience leaves you.
Eddie Izzard
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Horseshoes are lucky. Horses have four bits of lucky nailed to their feet. They should be the luckiest animals in the world. They should rule the country. They should win all their horse races, at least. 'In the fifth race today, every single horse was first equal...one horse threw a shoe came in third...the duck was ninth...and five ran.'
Eddie Izzard
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And the National Rifle Association says that, Guns don't kill people, people do, but I think the gun helps, you know? I think it helps. I just think just standing there going, Bang! That's not going to kill too many people, is it? You'd have to be really dodgy on the heart to have that.
Eddie Izzard