Quote

Sharks are just evil bastards. I'm quite happy if all the sharks just went, because they eat fish and us. And we need the fish.

Eddie Izzard

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Eddie Izzard
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 7
Actor
Comedian
Improviser
Politician
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Edward John Izzard
Eddie John Izzard
Edward Jonathan Izzard
Eddie Jonathan Izzard
Edward Izzard
Edward J. Izzard
Eddie J. Izzard
Need
Sharks
Needs
Fish
Fishes
Environmental
Went
Quite
Happy
Evil
Bastards

More quotes by Eddie Izzard

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Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia. This is true, they proved this one. The word dyslexia was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.
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If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death.
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If you can be your own force of nature and have a positive heart, then you can actually do something good in the world.
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In the UK a lot of people don't like to try. There's a different cultural thing. Here [in USA] if you try and fail, you get up again and start again and keep going. People respect you for it. Even if you keep failing, they respect the tenacity.
Eddie Izzard
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And the National Rifle Association says that, Guns don't kill people, people do, but I think the gun helps, you know? I think it helps. I just think just standing there going, Bang! That's not going to kill too many people, is it? You'd have to be really dodgy on the heart to have that.
Eddie Izzard
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I want to live till I die. No more, no less.
Eddie Izzard
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I am a professional transvestite, so I can run about in heels and not fall over.
Eddie Izzard
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I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.
Eddie Izzard
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We stole countries with the cunning use of flags. Just sail around the world and stick a flag in. I claim India for Britain! They're going You can't claim us, we live here! Five hundred million of us! Do you have a flag …? No... Well, if you don't have a flag, then you can't have a country. Those are the rules... that I just made u
Eddie Izzard
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My Gran said put a thimble on your finger and it helps you in case you slip with the needle and it goes up, into the brain, and death.
Eddie Izzard
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When you're more mature, you do start telling the truth, in odd situations. I'm sorry, I've broken a glass here. Is that expensive? I'll pay for it. I'm sorry. And you do that so that people in the room might go, What a strong personality that person has. I like to have sex with people with strong personalities.
Eddie Izzard
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Animals in the wild are lean, and I think we should be too.
Eddie Izzard
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If you go down as a comedian's comedian, that's basically meaning other comedians are hopefully feeling that you're doing okay.
Eddie Izzard
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I did bronze survival swimming. I could save people in a bronzey kind of way.
Eddie Izzard
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Performance enhancing drugs are banned in the Olympics. OK, we can swing with that. But performance 'debilitating' drugs should not be banned. Smoke a joint and win the 100 metres, fair play for you. That's pretty good. Unless someone's dangling a Mars bar off in the distance.
Eddie Izzard
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I try to just talk about human stories and what I think about religion or teapots or whatever.
Eddie Izzard
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We have two hundred languages in Europe. Two hundred languages! Count them! I know you won't!
Eddie Izzard
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Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.
Eddie Izzard
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Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written by others.
Eddie Izzard
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I'd like to have sex with myself.
Eddie Izzard