Quote

Sharks are just evil bastards. I'm quite happy if all the sharks just went, because they eat fish and us. And we need the fish.

Eddie Izzard

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Eddie Izzard
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 7
Actor
Comedian
Improviser
Politician
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Edward John Izzard
Eddie John Izzard
Edward Jonathan Izzard
Eddie Jonathan Izzard
Edward Izzard
Edward J. Izzard
Eddie J. Izzard
Fishes
Environmental
Went
Quite
Happy
Evil
Bastards
Need
Sharks
Needs
Fish

More quotes by Eddie Izzard

Image
Animals in the wild are lean, and I think we should be too.
Eddie Izzard
Image
You’ve got to believe you can be a standup before you can be a standup. You have to believe you can act before you can act. You have to believe you can be an astronaut before you can be an astronaut. You’ve got to believe.
Eddie Izzard
Image
But puberty was... well, before puberty, at school, I didn't tell kids I was a transvestite 'cause I thought they might kill me with sticks, you know?
Eddie Izzard
Image
It's my manifest destiny to wear a skirt in all countries.
Eddie Izzard
Image
I try to just talk about human stories and what I think about religion or teapots or whatever.
Eddie Izzard
Image
America is the new Roman Empire. Remember what happened to Rome.
Eddie Izzard
Image
If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death.
Eddie Izzard
Image
We have two hundred languages in Europe. Two hundred languages! Count them! I know you won't!
Eddie Izzard
Image
You notice how they always put the fruit and veg at the entrance to the supermarket? You go in thinking 'this is a fresh shop, everything in here is FRESH! I will do well to shop here'. You never go straight to the bit with the toilet paper, loo brushes and such do you? You'd think 'this is a POO shop! Everything in here is themed on POO!
Eddie Izzard
Image
I appreciate your applause, but I don't do it for applause. I do it for cash, it's much better.
Eddie Izzard
Image
The bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of drama is to be truthful. You can be truthful and funny, but if you're not truthful in a drama than the audience leaves you.
Eddie Izzard
Image
I just believe in the goodwill of people, the power of people to do something positive.
Eddie Izzard
Image
I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.
Eddie Izzard
Image
I'm a dyslexic person, so I avoid books.
Eddie Izzard
Image
So in Europe, we had empires. Everyone had them - France and Spain and Britain and Turkey! The Ottoman Empire, full of furniture for some reason. And the Austro-Hungarian Empire, famous for f-k all! Yes, all they did was slowly collapse like a flan in a cupboard.
Eddie Izzard
Image
I did bronze survival swimming. I could save people in a bronzey kind of way.
Eddie Izzard
Image
MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.
Eddie Izzard
Image
Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away that's the deal.
Eddie Izzard
Image
And the National Rifle Association says that, Guns don't kill people, people do, but I think the gun helps, you know? I think it helps. I just think just standing there going, Bang! That's not going to kill too many people, is it? You'd have to be really dodgy on the heart to have that.
Eddie Izzard
Image
You have the American dream! The dream is to be born in a gutter and grow up, and then get all the money in the world and stick it in your ears and go THBBBBBT.
Eddie Izzard