Quote

Sharks are just evil bastards. I'm quite happy if all the sharks just went, because they eat fish and us. And we need the fish.

Eddie Izzard

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Eddie Izzard
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 7
Actor
Comedian
Improviser
Politician
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Edward John Izzard
Eddie John Izzard
Edward Jonathan Izzard
Eddie Jonathan Izzard
Edward Izzard
Edward J. Izzard
Eddie J. Izzard
Fishes
Environmental
Went
Quite
Happy
Evil
Bastards
Need
Sharks
Needs
Fish

More quotes by Eddie Izzard

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I wanted to be less well-known in comedy.
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I can go from blokey to girlie in 15 minutes and then I'm out the door. But that's the fastest I can do it. Becoming a woman takes work.
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Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away that's the deal.
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Your eyes flashed fire into my soul. I immediately read the words of Dostoyevsky and Karl Marx, and in the words of Albert Schweitzer, I FANCY YOU!
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It's my manifest destiny to wear a skirt in all countries.
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If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid.
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They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'
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When you're more mature, you do start telling the truth, in odd situations. I'm sorry, I've broken a glass here. Is that expensive? I'll pay for it. I'm sorry. And you do that so that people in the room might go, What a strong personality that person has. I like to have sex with people with strong personalities.
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I'm a dyslexic person, so I avoid books.
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And the National Rifle Association says that, Guns don't kill people, people do, but I think the gun helps, you know? I think it helps. I just think just standing there going, Bang! That's not going to kill too many people, is it? You'd have to be really dodgy on the heart to have that.
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Some people are widely read. I'm thinly read.
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All humans can do more than they think they can do. So I think we can all actually be more superhuman than we think we can.
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If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death.
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If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.
Eddie Izzard
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When I was seven, I said, I want to act. When I was 10, I realized that films exist, and I wanted to be in them. Not a comedian, I wanted to be a dramatic actor. Films just seemed such fun, and like such a great thing to do.
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So in Europe, we had empires. Everyone had them - France and Spain and Britain and Turkey! The Ottoman Empire, full of furniture for some reason. And the Austro-Hungarian Empire, famous for f-k all! Yes, all they did was slowly collapse like a flan in a cupboard.
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My stand-up is quite good now, people say. It's just like a big conversation each time. Every gig is a rehearsal.
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When you're coming out, you have to deal with the whole world saying 'Oh! You're an abominable snowman'.
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I am a professional transvestite, so I can run about in heels and not fall over.
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Honey bees are amazing creatures. I mean, think about it, do earwigs make chutney?
Eddie Izzard