Quote

Performance enhancing drugs are banned in the Olympics. OK, we can swing with that. But performance 'debilitating' drugs should not be banned. Smoke a joint and win the 100 metres, fair play for you. That's pretty good. Unless someone's dangling a Mars bar off in the distance.

Eddie Izzard

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Eddie Izzard
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 7
Actor
Comedian
Improviser
Politician
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Edward John Izzard
Eddie John Izzard
Edward Jonathan Izzard
Eddie Jonathan Izzard
Edward Izzard
Edward J. Izzard
Eddie J. Izzard
Play
Performances
Swings
Metres
Good
Fair
Mars
Dangling
Distance
Olympics
Debilitating
Drug
Bars
Enhancing
Unless
Drugs
Joint
Pretty
Performance
Banned
Winning
Smoke
Joints
Someone
Fairs
Swing

More quotes by Eddie Izzard

Image
What was the first cat that talked a human into putting a cat door in?
Eddie Izzard
Image
I did bronze survival swimming. I could save people in a bronzey kind of way.
Eddie Izzard
Image
I'd like to have sex with myself.
Eddie Izzard
Image
I try to keep performing as much as possible - I just like to. I used to take huge gaps off between gigs, now I just like to do stand-up gigs as much as I can.
Eddie Izzard
Image
You notice how they always put the fruit and veg at the entrance to the supermarket? You go in thinking 'this is a fresh shop, everything in here is FRESH! I will do well to shop here'. You never go straight to the bit with the toilet paper, loo brushes and such do you? You'd think 'this is a POO shop! Everything in here is themed on POO!
Eddie Izzard
Image
I appreciate your applause, but I don't do it for applause. I do it for cash, it's much better.
Eddie Izzard
Image
America is the new Roman Empire. Remember what happened to Rome.
Eddie Izzard
Image
Horseshoes are lucky. Horses have four bits of lucky nailed to their feet. They should be the luckiest animals in the world. They should rule the country. They should win all their horse races, at least. 'In the fifth race today, every single horse was first equal...one horse threw a shoe came in third...the duck was ninth...and five ran.'
Eddie Izzard
Image
If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid.
Eddie Izzard
Image
So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!
Eddie Izzard
Image
That's no good, I can't steal from the fairly well off and give to the moderately impoverished! That's not gonna swing, is it?
Eddie Izzard
Image
But puberty was... well, before puberty, at school, I didn't tell kids I was a transvestite 'cause I thought they might kill me with sticks, you know?
Eddie Izzard
Image
Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written by others.
Eddie Izzard
Image
Sharks are just evil bastards. I'm quite happy if all the sharks just went, because they eat fish and us. And we need the fish.
Eddie Izzard
Image
For me to put a look together, if it's going to be a boy look or a girl look or whatever, is quite a tricky thing to do. I'm not doing drag because drag is seen in a certain way and my comedy has got zero to do with what I'm wearing. I could wear an elephant suit and say the same thing.
Eddie Izzard
Image
It's my manifest destiny to wear a skirt in all countries.
Eddie Izzard
Image
Honey bees are amazing creatures. I mean, think about it, do earwigs make chutney?
Eddie Izzard
Image
Little red cookbook! Little red cookbook!
Eddie Izzard
Image
I'd be happy to be taken as a woman - and that's what I was initially trying to do when I started throwing on dresses and stuff. But that wasn't going to happen because everyone kept calling me sir. So I thought I'd change the method and just start wearing what I wanted to wear.
Eddie Izzard
Image
Animals in the wild are lean, and I think we should be too.
Eddie Izzard