Quote

Performance enhancing drugs are banned in the Olympics. OK, we can swing with that. But performance 'debilitating' drugs should not be banned. Smoke a joint and win the 100 metres, fair play for you. That's pretty good. Unless someone's dangling a Mars bar off in the distance.

Eddie Izzard

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Eddie Izzard
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 7
Actor
Comedian
Improviser
Politician
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Edward John Izzard
Eddie John Izzard
Edward Jonathan Izzard
Eddie Jonathan Izzard
Edward Izzard
Edward J. Izzard
Eddie J. Izzard
Someone
Fairs
Swing
Play
Performances
Swings
Metres
Good
Fair
Mars
Dangling
Distance
Olympics
Debilitating
Drug
Bars
Enhancing
Unless
Drugs
Joint
Pretty
Performance
Banned
Winning
Smoke
Joints

More quotes by Eddie Izzard

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You’ve got to believe you can be a standup before you can be a standup. You have to believe you can act before you can act. You have to believe you can be an astronaut before you can be an astronaut. You’ve got to believe.
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The bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of drama is to be truthful. You can be truthful and funny, but if you're not truthful in a drama than the audience leaves you.
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I just believe in the goodwill of people, the power of people to do something positive.
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All humans can do more than they think they can do. So I think we can all actually be more superhuman than we think we can.
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You notice how they always put the fruit and veg at the entrance to the supermarket? You go in thinking 'this is a fresh shop, everything in here is FRESH! I will do well to shop here'. You never go straight to the bit with the toilet paper, loo brushes and such do you? You'd think 'this is a POO shop! Everything in here is themed on POO!
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Little red cookbook! Little red cookbook!
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Sharks are just evil bastards. I'm quite happy if all the sharks just went, because they eat fish and us. And we need the fish.
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Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).
Eddie Izzard
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Before birds get sucked into jet engines, do they ever think, Is that Rod Stewart in first class?
Eddie Izzard
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Spiders frighten me. In response to the spider alerts for Australia, please can the Australian government remove all spiders from Australia and blow them into outer space.
Eddie Izzard
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I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don't deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of acting is to be truthful, and they get that mixed up sometimes, or don't even notice that that's the thing.
Eddie Izzard
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And the druids, they were into sex and death in an interesting night-time telly sort of way.
Eddie Izzard
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I wanted to be less well-known in comedy.
Eddie Izzard
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America is the new Roman Empire. Remember what happened to Rome.
Eddie Izzard
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If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.
Eddie Izzard
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That's no good, I can't steal from the fairly well off and give to the moderately impoverished! That's not gonna swing, is it?
Eddie Izzard
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Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away that's the deal.
Eddie Izzard
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So in Europe, we had empires. Everyone had them - France and Spain and Britain and Turkey! The Ottoman Empire, full of furniture for some reason. And the Austro-Hungarian Empire, famous for f-k all! Yes, all they did was slowly collapse like a flan in a cupboard.
Eddie Izzard
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I am someone who's very positive about business, as a social Democrat. I do like the safety net of the welfare system and people setting things and creating business, and that's what I try to do with my own work: export it around the world from the U.K.
Eddie Izzard
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You have the American dream! The dream is to be born in a gutter and grow up, and then get all the money in the world and stick it in your ears and go THBBBBBT.
Eddie Izzard