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Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).
Eddie Izzard
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Eddie Izzard
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 7
Actor
Comedian
Improviser
Politician
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Edward John Izzard
Eddie John Izzard
Edward Jonathan Izzard
Eddie Jonathan Izzard
Edward Izzard
Edward J. Izzard
Eddie J. Izzard
People
Monkeys
Guns
Comedian
Humorous
Gun
Killing
Kill
Funny
More quotes by Eddie Izzard
He [Charlie Chaplin] was always playing as if it were to the camera, if you've seen the live shots of him when he's going to an opening night or something like that. And the skills that he had were beyond my ability to throw together. You just couldn't really compete with him. He was too athletic at that.
Eddie Izzard
I did bronze survival swimming. I could save people in a bronzey kind of way.
Eddie Izzard
All humans can do more than they think they can do. So I think we can all actually be more superhuman than we think we can.
Eddie Izzard
Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.
Eddie Izzard
The Death Star is just full of British actors opening doors and going,Oh... I... oh... What is it Lieutenant Sebastian? It's just the Rebels, sir... they're here. My God, man! Do they want tea? No, I think they're after something a bit more than that, sir. I don't know what it is, but they've brought a flag. Damn, that's dash cunning of them.
Eddie Izzard
What was the first cat that talked a human into putting a cat door in?
Eddie Izzard
You’ve got to believe you can be a standup before you can be a standup. You have to believe you can act before you can act. You have to believe you can be an astronaut before you can be an astronaut. You’ve got to believe.
Eddie Izzard
If you can be your own force of nature and have a positive heart, then you can actually do something good in the world.
Eddie Izzard
Horseshoes are lucky. Horses have four bits of lucky nailed to their feet. They should be the luckiest animals in the world. They should rule the country. They should win all their horse races, at least. 'In the fifth race today, every single horse was first equal...one horse threw a shoe came in third...the duck was ninth...and five ran.'
Eddie Izzard
I'm a dyslexic person, so I avoid books.
Eddie Izzard
I am a professional transvestite, so I can run about in heels and not fall over.
Eddie Izzard
I don't believe in God. I believe gods and devils are within us. It's our own battle. Our life's battle is to appeal to the gods within us, and to fight the devils within us.
Eddie Izzard
I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.
Eddie Izzard
When you're coming out, you have to deal with the whole world saying 'Oh! You're an abominable snowman'.
Eddie Izzard
And the National Rifle Association says that, Guns don't kill people, people do, but I think the gun helps, you know? I think it helps. I just think just standing there going, Bang! That's not going to kill too many people, is it? You'd have to be really dodgy on the heart to have that.
Eddie Izzard
Spiders frighten me. In response to the spider alerts for Australia, please can the Australian government remove all spiders from Australia and blow them into outer space.
Eddie Izzard
But puberty was... well, before puberty, at school, I didn't tell kids I was a transvestite 'cause I thought they might kill me with sticks, you know?
Eddie Izzard
I try to keep performing as much as possible - I just like to. I used to take huge gaps off between gigs, now I just like to do stand-up gigs as much as I can.
Eddie Izzard
America is the new Roman Empire. Remember what happened to Rome.
Eddie Izzard
San Francisco! City of dreaming spires, people live here... Golden Gate Bridge, ahh the Romans came here.
Eddie Izzard