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But the Dutch speak four languages and smoke marijuana!

Eddie Izzard

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Eddie Izzard
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 7
Actor
Comedian
Improviser
Politician
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Edward John Izzard
Eddie John Izzard
Edward Jonathan Izzard
Eddie Jonathan Izzard
Edward Izzard
Edward J. Izzard
Eddie J. Izzard
Language
Speak
Dutch
Languages
Marijuana
Smoke
Four

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I appreciate your applause, but I don't do it for applause. I do it for cash, it's much better.
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I don't subscribe to the theory that all politicians are crap. I think the 'cool people' often take that position.
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Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away that's the deal.
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If you think about determination, if people have a heart and are determined, they can get to that place. But there are a lot of negative people who were enormously determined. All the Nazis were determined. They wanted to murder everyone. Everyone with a bad heart, who doesn't care about people, I wish they hadn't started.
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In the UK a lot of people don't like to try. There's a different cultural thing. Here [in USA] if you try and fail, you get up again and start again and keep going. People respect you for it. Even if you keep failing, they respect the tenacity.
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I did bronze survival swimming. I could save people in a bronzey kind of way.
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You notice how they always put the fruit and veg at the entrance to the supermarket? You go in thinking 'this is a fresh shop, everything in here is FRESH! I will do well to shop here'. You never go straight to the bit with the toilet paper, loo brushes and such do you? You'd think 'this is a POO shop! Everything in here is themed on POO!
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Some people are widely read. I'm thinly read.
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MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.
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I can go from blokey to girlie in 15 minutes and then I'm out the door. But that's the fastest I can do it. Becoming a woman takes work.
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I saw something in a program on something in Miami, and they were saying, We've redecorated this building to how it looked over 50 years ago! And people were going, No, surely not, no. No one was alive then.
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For me to put a look together, if it's going to be a boy look or a girl look or whatever, is quite a tricky thing to do. I'm not doing drag because drag is seen in a certain way and my comedy has got zero to do with what I'm wearing. I could wear an elephant suit and say the same thing.
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I am a professional transvestite, so I can run about in heels and not fall over.
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My Gran said put a thimble on your finger and it helps you in case you slip with the needle and it goes up, into the brain, and death.
Eddie Izzard
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San Francisco! City of dreaming spires, people live here... Golden Gate Bridge, ahh the Romans came here.
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It's my manifest destiny to wear a skirt in all countries.
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I'd like to have sex with myself.
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You're gay, you sell books... you probably shag the books.
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I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.
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I try to keep performing as much as possible - I just like to. I used to take huge gaps off between gigs, now I just like to do stand-up gigs as much as I can.
Eddie Izzard