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Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.

Eddie Izzard

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Eddie Izzard
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 7
Actor
Comedian
Improviser
Politician
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Edward John Izzard
Eddie John Izzard
Edward Jonathan Izzard
Eddie Jonathan Izzard
Edward Izzard
Edward J. Izzard
Eddie J. Izzard
Scrabble
Dyslexia
Piss
Nazis
Nazi
Invented
Kids

More quotes by Eddie Izzard

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You’ve got to believe you can be a standup before you can be a standup. You have to believe you can act before you can act. You have to believe you can be an astronaut before you can be an astronaut. You’ve got to believe.
Eddie Izzard
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Little red cookbook! Little red cookbook!
Eddie Izzard
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All humans can do more than they think they can do. So I think we can all actually be more superhuman than we think we can.
Eddie Izzard
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I try to keep performing as much as possible - I just like to. I used to take huge gaps off between gigs, now I just like to do stand-up gigs as much as I can.
Eddie Izzard
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MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.
Eddie Izzard
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Danger could be my middle name... But it's John.
Eddie Izzard
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Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).
Eddie Izzard
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I appreciate your applause, but I don't do it for applause. I do it for cash, it's much better.
Eddie Izzard
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The bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of drama is to be truthful. You can be truthful and funny, but if you're not truthful in a drama than the audience leaves you.
Eddie Izzard
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So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!
Eddie Izzard
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If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death.
Eddie Izzard
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If I were Achilles I would put my foot in a f**k off block of concrete!
Eddie Izzard
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There's a thing about trying too hard, which I think is in all forms, which is if you really try to do things really well, you can get to a less good place than if you just let go and let it fly. Especially in creativity.
Eddie Izzard
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I try to just talk about human stories and what I think about religion or teapots or whatever.
Eddie Izzard
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Fox hunting, there's big fox hunting thing, there's arguments in Britain about fox hunting. And they go around. They obviously hunt foxes because the foxes, they attack chickens. And posh people have an alliance with chickens just like in the First World War.
Eddie Izzard
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I just believe in the goodwill of people, the power of people to do something positive.
Eddie Izzard
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We must have been hunters and gatherers but some of us were just waiters and hopers.
Eddie Izzard
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Performance enhancing drugs are banned in the Olympics. OK, we can swing with that. But performance 'debilitating' drugs should not be banned. Smoke a joint and win the 100 metres, fair play for you. That's pretty good. Unless someone's dangling a Mars bar off in the distance.
Eddie Izzard
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If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid.
Eddie Izzard
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I want to live till I die. No more, no less.
Eddie Izzard