Quote

That's no good, I can't steal from the fairly well off and give to the moderately impoverished! That's not gonna swing, is it?

Eddie Izzard

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Eddie Izzard
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 7
Actor
Comedian
Improviser
Politician
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Edward John Izzard
Eddie John Izzard
Edward Jonathan Izzard
Eddie Jonathan Izzard
Edward Izzard
Edward J. Izzard
Eddie J. Izzard
Give
Moderately
Wells
Impoverished
Well
Swing
Giving
Swings
Good
Steal
Fairly
Stealing
Gonna

More quotes by Eddie Izzard

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If you think about determination, if people have a heart and are determined, they can get to that place. But there are a lot of negative people who were enormously determined. All the Nazis were determined. They wanted to murder everyone. Everyone with a bad heart, who doesn't care about people, I wish they hadn't started.
Eddie Izzard
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Everyone gets cards at the beginning of life. I am transgender, I decided to be honest and tell everyone about it, and that's it.
Eddie Izzard
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And the druids, they were into sex and death in an interesting night-time telly sort of way.
Eddie Izzard
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It's my manifest destiny to wear a skirt in all countries.
Eddie Izzard
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Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia. This is true, they proved this one. The word dyslexia was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.
Eddie Izzard
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I try to keep performing as much as possible - I just like to. I used to take huge gaps off between gigs, now I just like to do stand-up gigs as much as I can.
Eddie Izzard
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My stand-up is quite good now, people say. It's just like a big conversation each time. Every gig is a rehearsal.
Eddie Izzard
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I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.
Eddie Izzard
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Some people are widely read. I'm thinly read.
Eddie Izzard
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Performance enhancing drugs are banned in the Olympics. OK, we can swing with that. But performance 'debilitating' drugs should not be banned. Smoke a joint and win the 100 metres, fair play for you. That's pretty good. Unless someone's dangling a Mars bar off in the distance.
Eddie Izzard
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Animals in the wild are lean, and I think we should be too.
Eddie Izzard
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Sharks are just evil bastards. I'm quite happy if all the sharks just went, because they eat fish and us. And we need the fish.
Eddie Izzard
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Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).
Eddie Izzard
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You have the American dream! The dream is to be born in a gutter and grow up, and then get all the money in the world and stick it in your ears and go THBBBBBT.
Eddie Izzard
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He [Charlie Chaplin] was always playing as if it were to the camera, if you've seen the live shots of him when he's going to an opening night or something like that. And the skills that he had were beyond my ability to throw together. You just couldn't really compete with him. He was too athletic at that.
Eddie Izzard
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I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don't deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of acting is to be truthful, and they get that mixed up sometimes, or don't even notice that that's the thing.
Eddie Izzard
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In stand-up it really helps to play yourself and talk about your own feelings. You cannot fail to be original if you're just talking about what you think about X, Y and Z. Unless you've got a twin brother who's also a stand-up.
Eddie Izzard
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I am a professional transvestite, so I can run about in heels and not fall over.
Eddie Izzard
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We have two hundred languages in Europe. Two hundred languages! Count them! I know you won't!
Eddie Izzard
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Danger could be my middle name... But it's John.
Eddie Izzard