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If I were Achilles I would put my foot in a f**k off block of concrete!
Eddie Izzard
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Eddie Izzard
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 7
Actor
Comedian
Improviser
Politician
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Edward John Izzard
Eddie John Izzard
Edward Jonathan Izzard
Eddie Jonathan Izzard
Edward Izzard
Edward J. Izzard
Eddie J. Izzard
Block
Feet
Comedy
Funny
Would
Achilles
Sarcastic
Concrete
Foot
More quotes by Eddie Izzard
I don't know what it's like in the U.S. but immigrants in the U.K. do the jobs the citizens won't do.
Eddie Izzard
You have the American dream! The dream is to be born in a gutter and grow up, and then get all the money in the world and stick it in your ears and go THBBBBBT.
Eddie Izzard
Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of the sex: Girls girls, ooo. Naturally you want to look your best, and God says No! You will look the worst you've ever looked in your life!
Eddie Izzard
In the UK a lot of people don't like to try. There's a different cultural thing. Here [in USA] if you try and fail, you get up again and start again and keep going. People respect you for it. Even if you keep failing, they respect the tenacity.
Eddie Izzard
It's my manifest destiny to wear a skirt in all countries.
Eddie Izzard
Honey bees are amazing creatures. I mean, think about it, do earwigs make chutney?
Eddie Izzard
And the National Rifle Association says that, Guns don't kill people, people do, but I think the gun helps, you know? I think it helps. I just think just standing there going, Bang! That's not going to kill too many people, is it? You'd have to be really dodgy on the heart to have that.
Eddie Izzard
When you're more mature, you do start telling the truth, in odd situations. I'm sorry, I've broken a glass here. Is that expensive? I'll pay for it. I'm sorry. And you do that so that people in the room might go, What a strong personality that person has. I like to have sex with people with strong personalities.
Eddie Izzard
Danger could be my middle name... But it's John.
Eddie Izzard
Poetry is very similar to music, only less notes and more words.
Eddie Izzard
Performance enhancing drugs are banned in the Olympics. OK, we can swing with that. But performance 'debilitating' drugs should not be banned. Smoke a joint and win the 100 metres, fair play for you. That's pretty good. Unless someone's dangling a Mars bar off in the distance.
Eddie Izzard
I don't believe in God. So I'm a non-believer in the non-visible. I'm a believer in us in humans.
Eddie Izzard
The Death Star is just full of British actors opening doors and going,Oh... I... oh... What is it Lieutenant Sebastian? It's just the Rebels, sir... they're here. My God, man! Do they want tea? No, I think they're after something a bit more than that, sir. I don't know what it is, but they've brought a flag. Damn, that's dash cunning of them.
Eddie Izzard
I try to just talk about human stories and what I think about religion or teapots or whatever.
Eddie Izzard
I don't believe in God. I believe gods and devils are within us. It's our own battle. Our life's battle is to appeal to the gods within us, and to fight the devils within us.
Eddie Izzard
All humans can do more than they think they can do. So I think we can all actually be more superhuman than we think we can.
Eddie Izzard
Everyone gets cards at the beginning of life. I am transgender, I decided to be honest and tell everyone about it, and that's it.
Eddie Izzard
Your eyes flashed fire into my soul. I immediately read the words of Dostoyevsky and Karl Marx, and in the words of Albert Schweitzer, I FANCY YOU!
Eddie Izzard
You're gay, you sell books... you probably shag the books.
Eddie Izzard
My Gran said put a thimble on your finger and it helps you in case you slip with the needle and it goes up, into the brain, and death.
Eddie Izzard