Quote

Puberty is the sickest joke God plays on us. So you're just noticing members of the sex: Girls girls, ooo. Naturally you want to look your best, and God says No! You will look the worst you've ever looked in your life!

Eddie Izzard

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Eddie Izzard
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 7
Actor
Comedian
Improviser
Politician
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Edward John Izzard
Eddie John Izzard
Edward Jonathan Izzard
Eddie Jonathan Izzard
Edward Izzard
Edward J. Izzard
Eddie J. Izzard
Looks
Members
Sarcastic
Life
Says
Joke
Worst
Naturally
Girl
Plays
Best
Jokes
Sickest
Ever
Girls
Puberty
Look
Sex
Noticing
Play
Looked
Sarcasm

More quotes by Eddie Izzard

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Danger could be my middle name... But it's John.
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I wanted to be less well-known in comedy.
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I did bronze survival swimming. I could save people in a bronzey kind of way.
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I am a professional transvestite, so I can run about in heels and not fall over.
Eddie Izzard
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When I watched Braveheart I was in tears and I was rooting for the Scottish people
Eddie Izzard
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I want to live till I die. No more, no less.
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You notice how they always put the fruit and veg at the entrance to the supermarket? You go in thinking 'this is a fresh shop, everything in here is FRESH! I will do well to shop here'. You never go straight to the bit with the toilet paper, loo brushes and such do you? You'd think 'this is a POO shop! Everything in here is themed on POO!
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If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death.
Eddie Izzard
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Honey bees are amazing creatures. I mean, think about it, do earwigs make chutney?
Eddie Izzard
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Two languages in one brain? No one can live at that speed!
Eddie Izzard
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I'm a dyslexic person, so I avoid books.
Eddie Izzard
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If you get too well-known, you can never be a comedian's comedian, it just won't sit well. But I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that label.
Eddie Izzard
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Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia. This is true, they proved this one. The word dyslexia was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.
Eddie Izzard
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He [Charlie Chaplin] was always playing as if it were to the camera, if you've seen the live shots of him when he's going to an opening night or something like that. And the skills that he had were beyond my ability to throw together. You just couldn't really compete with him. He was too athletic at that.
Eddie Izzard
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I'd be happy to be taken as a woman - and that's what I was initially trying to do when I started throwing on dresses and stuff. But that wasn't going to happen because everyone kept calling me sir. So I thought I'd change the method and just start wearing what I wanted to wear.
Eddie Izzard
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When you're more mature, you do start telling the truth, in odd situations. I'm sorry, I've broken a glass here. Is that expensive? I'll pay for it. I'm sorry. And you do that so that people in the room might go, What a strong personality that person has. I like to have sex with people with strong personalities.
Eddie Izzard
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Spiders frighten me. In response to the spider alerts for Australia, please can the Australian government remove all spiders from Australia and blow them into outer space.
Eddie Izzard
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They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'
Eddie Izzard
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I don't subscribe to the theory that all politicians are crap. I think the 'cool people' often take that position.
Eddie Izzard
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Some people are widely read. I'm thinly read.
Eddie Izzard