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If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death.
Eddie Izzard
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Eddie Izzard
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 7
Actor
Comedian
Improviser
Politician
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Edward John Izzard
Eddie John Izzard
Edward Jonathan Izzard
Eddie Jonathan Izzard
Edward Izzard
Edward J. Izzard
Eddie J. Izzard
Death
Sarcasm
Wells
Restaurant
Well
Sarcastic
Restaurants
Magic
Trouble
Maneuver
Words
Choking
Difficult
Choke
More quotes by Eddie Izzard
You notice how they always put the fruit and veg at the entrance to the supermarket? You go in thinking 'this is a fresh shop, everything in here is FRESH! I will do well to shop here'. You never go straight to the bit with the toilet paper, loo brushes and such do you? You'd think 'this is a POO shop! Everything in here is themed on POO!
Eddie Izzard
It's a historical thing, up to the 19th century the English hated the French. Then in the 20th century the English started to hate the Germans - as we began to move alphabetically through the map of the world. Now, the year 2000, we are fine with the Germans... but the Hungarians are pissing us off.
Eddie Izzard
If you get too well-known, you can never be a comedian's comedian, it just won't sit well. But I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that label.
Eddie Izzard
I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don't deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of acting is to be truthful, and they get that mixed up sometimes, or don't even notice that that's the thing.
Eddie Izzard
Poetry is very similar to music, only less notes and more words.
Eddie Izzard
And the druids, they were into sex and death in an interesting night-time telly sort of way.
Eddie Izzard
I just believe in the goodwill of people, the power of people to do something positive.
Eddie Izzard
If you get anything creative going, then the work and play thing is the same thing, I feel.
Eddie Izzard
We stole countries with the cunning use of flags. Just sail around the world and stick a flag in. I claim India for Britain! They're going You can't claim us, we live here! Five hundred million of us! Do you have a flag …? No... Well, if you don't have a flag, then you can't have a country. Those are the rules... that I just made u
Eddie Izzard
Some people are widely read. I'm thinly read.
Eddie Izzard
Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia. This is true, they proved this one. The word dyslexia was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.
Eddie Izzard
I am a professional transvestite, so I can run about in heels and not fall over.
Eddie Izzard
I don't subscribe to the theory that all politicians are crap. I think the 'cool people' often take that position.
Eddie Izzard
If you think about determination, if people have a heart and are determined, they can get to that place. But there are a lot of negative people who were enormously determined. All the Nazis were determined. They wanted to murder everyone. Everyone with a bad heart, who doesn't care about people, I wish they hadn't started.
Eddie Izzard
But puberty was... well, before puberty, at school, I didn't tell kids I was a transvestite 'cause I thought they might kill me with sticks, you know?
Eddie Izzard
I appreciate your applause, but I don't do it for applause. I do it for cash, it's much better.
Eddie Izzard
We must have been hunters and gatherers but some of us were just waiters and hopers.
Eddie Izzard
But the Dutch speak four languages and smoke marijuana!
Eddie Izzard
You have the American dream! The dream is to be born in a gutter and grow up, and then get all the money in the world and stick it in your ears and go THBBBBBT.
Eddie Izzard
When you're coming out, you have to deal with the whole world saying 'Oh! You're an abominable snowman'.
Eddie Izzard