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If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid.
Eddie Izzard
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Eddie Izzard
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 7
Actor
Comedian
Improviser
Politician
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Edward John Izzard
Eddie John Izzard
Edward Jonathan Izzard
Eddie Jonathan Izzard
Edward Izzard
Edward J. Izzard
Eddie J. Izzard
Elephants
Comedy
Seen
Funny
Never
Skis
Elephant
Acid
More quotes by Eddie Izzard
I want to live till I die. No more, no less.
Eddie Izzard
He [Charlie Chaplin] was always playing as if it were to the camera, if you've seen the live shots of him when he's going to an opening night or something like that. And the skills that he had were beyond my ability to throw together. You just couldn't really compete with him. He was too athletic at that.
Eddie Izzard
If you get too well-known, you can never be a comedian's comedian, it just won't sit well. But I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that label.
Eddie Izzard
We have two hundred languages in Europe. Two hundred languages! Count them! I know you won't!
Eddie Izzard
In stand-up it really helps to play yourself and talk about your own feelings. You cannot fail to be original if you're just talking about what you think about X, Y and Z. Unless you've got a twin brother who's also a stand-up.
Eddie Izzard
My Gran said put a thimble on your finger and it helps you in case you slip with the needle and it goes up, into the brain, and death.
Eddie Izzard
I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.
Eddie Izzard
Before birds get sucked into jet engines, do they ever think, Is that Rod Stewart in first class?
Eddie Izzard
MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.
Eddie Izzard
Some people are widely read. I'm thinly read.
Eddie Izzard
It's my manifest destiny to wear a skirt in all countries.
Eddie Izzard
Poetry is very similar to music, only less notes and more words.
Eddie Izzard
The Death Star is just full of British actors opening doors and going,Oh... I... oh... What is it Lieutenant Sebastian? It's just the Rebels, sir... they're here. My God, man! Do they want tea? No, I think they're after something a bit more than that, sir. I don't know what it is, but they've brought a flag. Damn, that's dash cunning of them.
Eddie Izzard
I'm a dyslexic person, so I avoid books.
Eddie Izzard
When I was seven, I said, I want to act. When I was 10, I realized that films exist, and I wanted to be in them. Not a comedian, I wanted to be a dramatic actor. Films just seemed such fun, and like such a great thing to do.
Eddie Izzard
What was the first cat that talked a human into putting a cat door in?
Eddie Izzard
Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia. This is true, they proved this one. The word dyslexia was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.
Eddie Izzard
I try to just talk about human stories and what I think about religion or teapots or whatever.
Eddie Izzard
The bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of drama is to be truthful. You can be truthful and funny, but if you're not truthful in a drama than the audience leaves you.
Eddie Izzard
I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.
Eddie Izzard
