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So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!
Eddie Izzard
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Eddie Izzard
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: February 7
Actor
Comedian
Improviser
Politician
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Edward John Izzard
Eddie John Izzard
Edward Jonathan Izzard
Eddie Jonathan Izzard
Edward Izzard
Edward J. Izzard
Eddie J. Izzard
Years
President
Naive
Everyone
Surprised
Littles
Native
Government
Clinton
Little
Americans
Many
Relationship
Feel
Comedy
Feels
American
Lied
More quotes by Eddie Izzard
If you're choking in a restaurant you can just say the magic words, 'Heimlich maneuver,' and all will be well. Trouble is, it's difficult to say 'Heimlich maneuver' when you're choking to death.
Eddie Izzard
When you're coming out, you have to deal with the whole world saying 'Oh! You're an abominable snowman'.
Eddie Izzard
But puberty was... well, before puberty, at school, I didn't tell kids I was a transvestite 'cause I thought they might kill me with sticks, you know?
Eddie Izzard
Performance enhancing drugs are banned in the Olympics. OK, we can swing with that. But performance 'debilitating' drugs should not be banned. Smoke a joint and win the 100 metres, fair play for you. That's pretty good. Unless someone's dangling a Mars bar off in the distance.
Eddie Izzard
I try to keep performing as much as possible - I just like to. I used to take huge gaps off between gigs, now I just like to do stand-up gigs as much as I can.
Eddie Izzard
When you're more mature, you do start telling the truth, in odd situations. I'm sorry, I've broken a glass here. Is that expensive? I'll pay for it. I'm sorry. And you do that so that people in the room might go, What a strong personality that person has. I like to have sex with people with strong personalities.
Eddie Izzard
I am a professional transvestite, so I can run about in heels and not fall over.
Eddie Izzard
But the Dutch speak four languages and smoke marijuana!
Eddie Izzard
Fox hunting, there's big fox hunting thing, there's arguments in Britain about fox hunting. And they go around. They obviously hunt foxes because the foxes, they attack chickens. And posh people have an alliance with chickens just like in the First World War.
Eddie Izzard
I appreciate your applause, but I don't do it for applause. I do it for cash, it's much better.
Eddie Izzard
America is the new Roman Empire. Remember what happened to Rome.
Eddie Izzard
You notice how they always put the fruit and veg at the entrance to the supermarket? You go in thinking 'this is a fresh shop, everything in here is FRESH! I will do well to shop here'. You never go straight to the bit with the toilet paper, loo brushes and such do you? You'd think 'this is a POO shop! Everything in here is themed on POO!
Eddie Izzard
There's a thing about trying too hard, which I think is in all forms, which is if you really try to do things really well, you can get to a less good place than if you just let go and let it fly. Especially in creativity.
Eddie Izzard
San Francisco! City of dreaming spires, people live here... Golden Gate Bridge, ahh the Romans came here.
Eddie Izzard
The Death Star is just full of British actors opening doors and going,Oh... I... oh... What is it Lieutenant Sebastian? It's just the Rebels, sir... they're here. My God, man! Do they want tea? No, I think they're after something a bit more than that, sir. I don't know what it is, but they've brought a flag. Damn, that's dash cunning of them.
Eddie Izzard
My stand-up is quite good now, people say. It's just like a big conversation each time. Every gig is a rehearsal.
Eddie Izzard
Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away that's the deal.
Eddie Izzard
I did bronze survival swimming. I could save people in a bronzey kind of way.
Eddie Izzard
If you go down as a comedian's comedian, that's basically meaning other comedians are hopefully feeling that you're doing okay.
Eddie Izzard
Everyone gets cards at the beginning of life. I am transgender, I decided to be honest and tell everyone about it, and that's it.
Eddie Izzard
